My roommate keeps giving me advice and nutritional tidbits. At first it was educational, but now I'm just irritated and annoyed, and I can't quite pinpoint why or how to deal with it.
posted by Puck Soppet to Human Relations (19 answers total)
So I have this roommate. She has some form of colitis, and when I first moved in, she was seeing a doctor about it and getting medication. The medication wasn't working, and she heard about this nutritionist who could help her with it by eating the right things and taking supplements and whatnot, so she started seeing that person instead.
Shortly after that, I decided to eat healthier, for nonrelated reasons. Namely, I ate a lot less sugar, and had a lot more fruit, vegetables, and protein. I also sweeten my beverages with stevia as opposed to artificial sweetener. I still drink diet soda, although nowhere near as much as I did. I also work out multiple times a week. I've lost a ton of weight this way; I get checked out periodically by my doctor and everything is going well.
Since Roommate talks with the nutritionist regularly, she has a lot of information about vitamins and other stuff in food-- like, how nightshades are supposedly a little toxic and how magnesium can help with constipation. I'm not good with that kind of thing, so I have no idea whether or not any of it is true, and I just take her word for it. It was nice to hear for future reference, although none of it really helped me since I was going low-carb.
But recently it's started to annoy me and I'm not sure why. For example, I recently switched to having real eggs for breakfast after using Egg Beaters. I mostly watch fat content, but I had done some research online and found that the number of eggs I would be having per week really wouldn't be that bad, especially since I also exercise a lot. When my roommate saw that I was making real eggs, she said that was good because Egg Beaters were actually bad for me anyway, mostly due to the beta carotene. She said she read it in an article. She also said that diet soda was really bad for you as well (which, again, I did know and am trying not to consume as much), and then told me about how she saw her mother drinking a can of diet soda and asked her why she was drinking something that was so bad for her.
I think I should mention at this point that there are times when she'll tell the nutritionist the most random stuff. Like, when we had mice in our apartment, she told them about it, and then gave me a bunch of advice that her nutritionist recommended. This baffled me, but then later on, when I was sick after a night of drinking, I overheard her talking to the nutritionist about me. They talk on the phone and it's a tiny apartment so I'm able to overhear things, even when I try not to. To be fair, Roommate doesn't have a lot of friends here in NYC, so maybe she's telling her these things because she's lonely. In any event, after the mouse incident, I talked to her about it, and expressed that I was confused and irritated (why would she talk about something that wasn't the nutritionist's business?), and she got really defensive. I figured at the time I was maybe wrong to be irritated, and dropped the issue, and haven't said anything about it since.
So, I'd like to say something about this, but I want to tread very carefully. For one, I'm not the confrontational type. Secondly, aside from this and some cleaning issues, she's actually a very good roommate, and I've read enough horror stories on AskMe and Reddit and online in general to know that I have a good thing. Also, I like the neighborhood and the rent is low, and I wouldn't be able to afford it without her.
Lastly, she is a genuinely nice person and I'm 100% sure there is no malicious intent or anything here. It's one thing to be helpful, but another to be sanctimonious, and it could be just me, but I feel like she's either crossed that line or has come close. I just don't want to be attacked if I were to ever drink diet soda in the house.
So, advice? I haven't really had to deal with people like this before, but I guess there's a first time for everything. Thanks.