I suppose we should go on a... date?
April 5, 2014 4:53 PM Subscribe
Boy meets Girl. Then Boy does, what exactly?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (12 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
I hate that I need to post an Anon AskMefi question about this, but, I'm stuck.
Met an amazing girl that I would love to get to know better – with romantic overtones. But... I don't know HOW to date...
For background: Recent college grad. Spent my first 2.5 years of college in a pretty serious relationship, and to be fair my first 'real' relationship. In this situation the girl asked me out!
We broke up and for a lot of reasons I wanted to stay away from dating for a bit. Ended up putting my effort into hooking up with girls. Preferred length of courtship: one night. I haven't been on a real date in a while and the closest thing to a date in the last two years has been grabbing coffee or a beer with the intent solely on getting that girl into bed later that night or later in the week.
I'll avoid getting all armchair therapist here, but I have a fear of rejection from women and it is easier for me to process being rejected for a hookup type deal than something grander...
My situation today: I met an amazing girl at a friends dinner party. We talked all night and I walked her home. Nothing physical happened at all, although I certainly could have tried. We exchanged some contact details.
To be perfectly clear; I think I would very much like to start dating this girl. My problem is twofold...
1) I don't really understand how to start this? Dinner would clearly ring 'This Is A Date!' but is very problematic as a first move since we both work fairly long hours thus much harder to schedule. Coffee would make sense time wise but... is it too casual? I don't want to be a potential new friend.
2) How do I gauge her interest her? When you are at a party, or a bar, or a club and you are trying to figure out if some random girl will be down with heading back to your place... there are certain signs and behaviors that just make it clear one way or another for the most part. I certainly know that actual dating and relationships are a different game. Lusting after someone is different than liking them as a person.
How do I proceed? My fallback is “Hey, let's grab a coffee together!” but I really really want to avoid screwing this up.