Fighting back against innuendo
March 24, 2014 3:34 PM Subscribe
I'm in a work place environment, and lately some people have found out some personal details about my life, and are using these details to disparage me in the office environment. I know that they must be talking about these details openly together, but in front of me and to me, they merely make repeated allusions or oblique references, usually with a twinkle in their eye. How do you respond to an attack that is indirect?
posted by tenlives to Human Relations (29 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
These personal details have nothing to do my function in the office; they are more of a personal nature and are really none of their business. This is hurting me in my job, and it's especially hurtful because all the attacks are indirect; it's more difficult to confront them directly. I feel like their attacks are cowardly and wrong, but I'd like to be able to keep my job. Help me fight them, because I have done nothing wrong, work admirably, and deserve the considerate behavior I treat them with. Also, help me find realistic solutions to fight such attacks of disparaging innuendo.
...There is an obvious path that involves saying something directly, but because their statements on the surface look innocent, then I look like the "bad guy", will be playing into their hands, and will lose my job anyway. Is there a direct path to fighting innuendo, that can bypass this? I don't want to appear like the aggressor, when really they are being (indirectly) aggressive, and I am their undeserving victim.
Help me outsmart these mean cowards.
***To be clear about what specifically I'm trying to counter, I found this definition of innuendo on Wikipedia:
"An innuendo is an insinuation or intimation about a person or thing, especially of a disparaging or a derogatory nature. It can also be a remark or question, typically disparaging (also called insinuation), that works obliquely by allusion. In the latter sense the intention is often to insult or accuse someone in such a way that one's words, taken literally, are innocent."