What do I do with all these beans?

October 21, 2005 6:24 PM

What do I do with all these beans?

My wife and I have recently come into possesion of a great quantity of beans.

I have black beans, kidney beans, great northern beans, garbanzo beans, black eyed peas, large lima beans, baby lima beans, lentils and green split peas.

I'd like to cook them or something.

posted by jackofsaxons to food & drink (31 comments total)

We can provide photographic evidence of these beans if needed.
posted by jackofsaxons at 6:25 PM on October 21, 2005

With lentils (which kind? anything but french would work for this) I would make a dal. Get some onion, garlic, and ginger going, black mustard seeds, bay leaf (or curry leaves if you have them), then toss in lentils, water, salt, and (if you like) meat.

Boil for a while, tweak the seasoning with hot pepper, vinegar/lime, tomato, cilantro. Dry methi (fenugreek) leaves are great for finishing this. Add them a minute or two before serving with rice.
posted by rxrfrx at 6:40 PM on October 21, 2005

Also, you should specify if they're all dry or if you have canned beans.
posted by rxrfrx at 6:41 PM on October 21, 2005

Buy a few 5 gallon pails, some mylar bags and oxygen absorbers. Prepare for the end times :)
posted by flavor at 6:41 PM on October 21, 2005

Homemade hummus is a wonderful way to take care of some chickpeas. I make this minus parsley, but plus a scant 1/4 cup olive oil.

There are a bajillion ways to cook beans into delicious soups/stews. See here.

Black beans spiced with cumin, spicy pepper (cayenne or chopped chillis or even Tabasco), and salt are delicious in burritos, tacos, etc.
posted by gorillawarfare at 6:43 PM on October 21, 2005

I for one, would like photographic evidence of this abundance of beans.
posted by AllesKlar at 6:51 PM on October 21, 2005

1. Find sucker.
2. Trade handful of beans for cow.
3. Repeat until you have many cows.
4. ???
5. Profit.
posted by MsMolly at 7:18 PM on October 21, 2005

We can provide photographic evidence of these beans if needed.

Please do. Such a bounty of beans ought not be left to the imagination.
posted by jdroth at 7:23 PM on October 21, 2005

I have a really good recipe for Black Bean Soup, but do you think I'm going to share it with someone who won't show us their beans? No sir, I am not!

No soup for you. Show us the beans!
posted by iconomy at 8:29 PM on October 21, 2005

Bean pix pls kthxbye!!!111
posted by electric_counterpoint at 8:32 PM on October 21, 2005

You should take one of the above recipes for a soup mix and print it out. Put your beans and maybe a small packet of spices or whatever else the recipe calls for in a nice little bag. Tie the recipe to the bag with a ribbon - boom! Instant cheap holiday gift.
posted by Staggering Jack at 8:37 PM on October 21, 2005

I don't even know what to do with that pearl barley...
posted by jackofsaxons at 8:39 PM on October 21, 2005

Hmm, not enough to swim in. Plan B. The guy in the cubicle next to yours? Fill the drawers in his desk with beans.
posted by furiousthought at 8:46 PM on October 21, 2005

I was going to say "make a hill" to fill in the ????? in equation

1. Possess mucho beans.
2. ?????
3. (Don't) PROFIT (since the hill isn't worth a ...)

but then you went ahead, and made a hill, and posted a picture.

On a serious note - hummus is an excellent way to deal with chickpeas, and both curry and soup are good dishes for lentils.

Another way to fill the ????? in the profit equation is to count all said beans - put them in a huge jar, and charge people a quarter to guess how many beans are in the jar. If they guess right, they win the jar and beans
posted by birdsquared at 8:48 PM on October 21, 2005

Pearl barley is great in splt pea soup.

Bean stews are great fall fare. Cook the beans, any beans, add sauteed onions and garlic and Italian spices and whatever else you find in the fridge, add a can of diced tomatoes and, if you insist, some meat, any meat. Top your bowl of soup with a dollop of plain yogurt. Serve with bread and salad.
posted by LarryC at 8:51 PM on October 21, 2005

Black beans? Make feijoada. Chickpeas (garbanzos) make humus and felafel. Black eyed peas? Make salad with cumin, parsley, lemon juice, olive oil and garlic.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 8:57 PM on October 21, 2005

Where did the beans come from? I can see a glass behind the beans, but is there a story behind the beans?
posted by soiled cowboy at 9:29 PM on October 21, 2005

Some kinda off-topic posting follows:

I was thinking today about the earlier question about making up jokes, and with the movie "Sean of the Dead" in mind (since I recently re-watched it), I made up a joke:

What do vegetarian zombies eat?

BEEEEANS!!!

(Instead of BRAAAAINS!!!, get it?)

Then I come here and find several people in a row demanding beans. Spooky.

And to actually be a help, yeah, make hummus out of your 'banzos, pearl barley should not be confused with Pearl Bailey and is often used in soup, great northerns are good even by themselves (but add some pork product, eh), and black beans with rice are a popular burrito filling at the restaurant at which I currently work. Limas? You're on your own there...
posted by attercoppe at 10:05 PM on October 21, 2005

Cassoulet!
posted by Dr. Wu at 10:05 PM on October 21, 2005

You could soak and then roast the chickpeas, with a light coating of oil and your choice of dry seasonings, at about 450 until they're crunchy, and eat 'em like popcorn.

Lemon pepper is good, garlic is good, cayenne is good, plain old salt is good.

And you know, beanbags are fun.

My favorite lentil salad is made thusly: Rinse and pick the lentils for pebbles and such, and then cook in boiling water until tender (duration depends on amount of lentils, but not more than 20 minutes or so, generally).

Then, sautee a chopped onion, finely chopped carrot, a clove or however many of garlic (smashed) and bacon if you lean that way (a dab of olive oil if you don't) until the veggies are tender.

Then, make a vinaigrette out of red (or white, go nuts) wine vinegar, olive oil, salt and pepper, and a good spicy Dijon mustard.

Toss cooked lentils with cooked veggie/pig mixture and vinaigrette. Serve warm or cold, over greens if you like.
posted by padraigin at 10:05 PM on October 21, 2005

PUT THEM ALL IN A JAR AND CHARGE PEOPLE $1 TO GUESS HOW MANY THERE ARE TO WIN $100 AND THEN COUNT WHEN YOU GET 200 ENTRIES AND IF POSSIBLE POCKET THE MONEY ANYWAY.
posted by moift at 10:33 PM on October 21, 2005

Pearl barley is pretty good mixed into chili or any sort of a stew or soup you are trying to thicken up. It's one of the more versatile grains, though I think technically not a bean.
posted by jessamyn at 11:09 PM on October 21, 2005

Btw, kombu (a seaweed which you can find dried and packaged in your local health/natural foods store) and epazote (a South American herb which you mght be able to find at the same place) are said to take the gassy-ness out when cooked with beans. Based on my experience, it is true, to a certain extent. Just sayin'.
posted by theperfectcrime at 12:25 AM on October 22, 2005

Why not donate some or all of them to a soup kitchen?
posted by Radio7 at 1:51 AM on October 22, 2005

Mixed bean salad? (get a handful of each type of bean, soak overnight, boil til they're done, mix together, eat)

Spicy bean burger? (soak a large mixture of beans overnight, boil til they're done, roughly mash the beans with a few chillis and maybe some herbs, mix with an egg or two to bind, make into burger-sized patties, roll in breadcrumbs. these should freeze nicely)

Hearty soup? (fry some onions + any other veg you fancy in olive oil, throw in lentils/pearl barley, a bit of bacon, some herbs)

Brown lentils make a nice bolognese-style sauce - boil the lentils for 20 mins (so they are not quite done) fry onions+garlic, add tinned tomatoes + tomato puree + any herb + lentils and boil down. They soak up a bit of the tomato juice so you may well want to add more water.

If you've got any green/puy lentils (can't see any in the picture, but I can't read all the packages...) try frying some onions and mushrooms in olive oil whilst boiling some puy lentils (boil them for 20 minutes) then add stock cube + the onion mushroom olive oil mixture, keep boiling til done - goes great with ham.

Dhal is great. There are 15 million different dhal recipes. Basically you need lentils, stock, cinnamon, coriander + cumin powder, maybe a bit of chilli, maybe a bit of turmeric, maybe some fresh coriander + lemon juice to liven it up at the end. Dhal doesn't have to be eaten indian-style as part of a curry meal either - it's lovely on hot buttered toast.

MMM. Now I'm hungry again. Damn.
posted by handee at 6:30 AM on October 22, 2005

Man you guys rock. Thanks for all of the suggestions.

No bean is safe anymore!
posted by jackofsaxons at 9:44 AM on October 22, 2005

Bean soup is really good, and there are many recipes. Hard to resist Beans o' Fire, Brazilian Blackbean Stew, Zaremba Stew, minestrone, (not really) Cassoulet, and other recipes. Baked beans from scratch are really good. Plain brown lentils are good cooked with water till tender, then eat with butter and salt & lots of pepper.
posted by theora55 at 10:23 AM on October 22, 2005

Cassoulet is one of the bestest things ever, but it's hard to come by some of the ingredients.
posted by ikkyu2 at 1:46 PM on October 22, 2005

Late addition:

Apparently someone enjoyed my vegetarian zombie joke. But it has been improved on (thanks Greg!)

What do vegetarian zombies eat?

GRRAAAAIIINNNNSSS!!!


...so if you don't want the barley, you know who it should go to...
posted by attercoppe at 2:52 PM on October 22, 2005

Less healthy than the previous suggestions, but very good: falafel.

There are lots of great healthy recipes on fatfreevegan.com / beans.
posted by davar at 3:07 PM on October 22, 2005