Expat married to a local, really struggling, seeking help
March 21, 2014 8:40 AM Subscribe
Finally giving in and looking for a therapist, while permanently living abroad... what 'cultural combination' should one look for? Don't want my current mental state to cloud my thinking. Details inside.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (9 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I'm really struggling internally with whether or not to stay in my marriage (about 5 years, together about 7+). He is European, I am American.
I'm very, very confused about where exactly these feelings come from, because a lot of built-up personal crap that I've never fully worked through is cluttering my view. And I still love my husband, despite how it all sounds.
I feel like I'm going insane and have decided that I can't do this on my own anymore.
My question now is: do I look for a therapist who can understand any potential inter-cultural part of this this mess, which I can say at the moment I don't see myself?
Or should I go for a therapist from the States, who may understand my personal context better, since I have a lot of other issues going on that may be at the root of this?
To be completely honest, my gut wants me to go to my own culture. But I feel this could introduce blind spots somehow, especially from a therapist who has never been an expat themselves. Ideally I would find an expat therapist with the same cultural-combo as me (inverted would also be fine). After looking around I don't feel optimistic about finding one though.
About a local therapist - yes, this has crossed my mind, but the language barrier makes me very hesitant, despite speaking the local language well.
At the moment I'm just looking for individual therapy rather than couples counseling; I feel it necessary to work on myself first.
If anyone has personal experience with this, or an anecdote, or a professional opinion, or resources, or even just a fresh view, I would be very grateful for your words. My heart hurts. Thanks for reading.