Join 3,557 readers in helping fund MetaFilter (Hide)

Tags:

Parenting books reco's needed
March 19, 2014 4:49 AM   Subscribe

Looking for recommendations on parenting books dealing with tips, advice, strategies on the following topics for parenting young children (5-10): how to set different behavioral expectations for siblings of different ages (greater expectations for older children, given capacity), responsibility / accountability for ones actions and the effects of ones behavior on other people ( managing belongings, homework, punctuality, behavior management in special situations ie. there are times for wild/exuberant play and fun but the airport or funerals are are not such times) Not interested in any books with a religious or corporal punishment bent.

Not dealing with any emotional/physical/developmental challenges
posted by walkinginsunshine to Human Relations (10 answers total) 15 users marked this as a favorite
 
When my son was that age and I was looking for recommendations :), one of the books that came highly recommended was 1-2-3 Magic. It worked, to a certain extent, with my child.
posted by elmay at 5:47 AM on March 19 [1 favorite]


Try Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids and the classic How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk & Liberated Parents, Liberated Children by the same authors.

(I notice Faber and Mazlish get a number of recommendations in the 1-star reviews for 1-2-3 Magic, which tells you something about the wide range of suggestions you'll get here. I side with the 1-starrers, unsurprisingly)
posted by kmennie at 6:00 AM on March 19 [5 favorites]


I highly recommend Jon Kabat-Zinn's amazing book on "mindful parenting."
posted by jbickers at 6:00 AM on March 19


I second the Faber and Mazlish suggestions, and also recommend Alfie Kohn’s Unconditional Parenting.
posted by metasarah at 8:41 AM on March 19


I really enjoyed The Blessing of a Skinned Knee.

(My favorite parenting book of all time is Nurture Shock but it doesn't specifically address all that you are looking for -- it is research based, which I found really amazing and different than most parenting books.)
posted by mamabear at 11:44 AM on March 19 [1 favorite]


Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) by Dr. Thomas Gordon.
posted by hush at 12:14 PM on March 19


Although primarily written for comedic effect (which it provides in side-splitting abundance) , I found The Three Martini Playdate to be utterly awesome and unafraid to say the things sensible people are thinking. If watching Valium-parents ignore their shrieking children in Target while they blab on their cell phones (so they don't "reinforce" bad behavior--bwahhahahah!) makes you want to throw battery acid on them a little, you will enjoy this book.

On the more serious side, seconding How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk. The exercise with the multiple spouses scenario is darkly funny and very illuminating.
posted by SinAesthetic at 12:34 PM on March 19


I recently read The Whole Brain Child, and it deals extensively with helping kids develop judgement and decision-making skills. It's easy to read and has very useful practical suggestions.
posted by medusa at 1:29 PM on March 19


I will second 1-2-3 Magic. It gives a lot of specific suggestions about how to tailor things to each child, and gives a lot of explanation for why you need to do the (super-simple) system the way they suggest. I was a little resistant to it at first, but it has been miraculous.
posted by ravioli at 7:12 PM on March 19


Children Who Do Too Little is great. There are a few newer titles since I read that, but this was a good short read that changed how we parented. My kids do way more chores and have more household responsibilities than most of their peers, and that's not something I've ever regretted (them, not so much.)

Back Talk was also a huge help. Very short quick read and easy to implement. It is one technique for very specific situations that just works without being abusive to the kids or parents. It helped us defuse tense communication.

I really recommend any of the Emily Post-type ettiquette books for kids as good for parents to read and then use to discuss over meals with their kids. They're much more about behaviour and respect to others than which fork to use. You need to go to a bookstore or library and browse to see what fits your family's particular style.

Becoming the parent you want to be is wonderful. It's basically a compilation of different parenting styles and philosophies, mostly gentle and encouraging but with boundaries. It is one of the few books to say there are multiple ways to be a good parent, not This Correct Way only. It covers older kids too, not just toddlers.
posted by viggorlijah at 5:51 AM on March 20


« Older I have no printer. I have some...   |  I live in an apartment and am ... Newer »

You are not logged in, either login or create an account to post comments