Derail a future heartbreak or enjoy myself now?
March 16, 2014 6:13 PM Subscribe
I've been living abroad for half a year but the end of my time here is coming up, and of course, I stupidly started seeing someone who is not going to relocate for me. Is it a stupid idea to continue seeing them? I'm already stressed and saddened to an extent I've never experienced before because of my uncertain job search and this is just adding on, but I'm so happy with them that I don't know if I can bring myself to cut this off. Should I continue hoping or is that just stupid? Some more details inside.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (8 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I'm happy in this country and would prefer to stay, not just for them but because I have friends and a nice place here, and I feel comfortable. However, the chances of that happening are virtually zero since it is necessary to speak the local language and although I'm already at an ok level, I don't think it will be good enough for work. In general I'm extremely stressed about my ability to find a job (I'm in my early 20s and although I have some prestigious work experience and multiple languages on my CV I am nonetheless obviously not a real catch for an employer), so at this point I'd just be happy to get a solid-paying job anywhere.
SO-person is a few years older than me and is reluctant to move at this time (although they are not a citizen in this country either), and is moreover reluctant to be a barrier to any potential work or educational opportunities I might be able to find.
I still have a few more months left here and I am really desperately afraid to leave. I don't know if it's worth it to keep this relationship going a little bit longer and hope for the best, or if it'd be better to just cut it off and break my own heart now so I can feel more free to move later. Is it a stupid decision to keep this going when I know I'm just going to be crushed later on? I'm so happy and comfortable with this person and I know that I can't manage just being friends with them, so it would have to be totally no-contact which is extra challenging because they have been my support net since the beginning of my time in this country. What is the better decision here??