February 23, 2014 10:29 PM Subscribe
Turns out my ex, who I dated for 4 years before it ended (at my instigation) last October, is engaged. I don't really know how to process it.
posted by fingers_of_fire to Human Relations (30 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
We've had no contact since the break-up, and obviously that will continue, although we do work in the same relatively small community, so the possibility of bumping in to each other exists (and terrifies me). I think about her more than I want to - I find myself wondering how she's handling the break-up, if she's still thinking about me, how our relationship looks from this vantage point, etc. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not over the relationship - I find myself questioning whether or not ending it was the right thing to do (mostly I believe it was, and lately I've been consumed with anger that I didn't end it sooner). It generally takes me a long time to let go, to get over relationships, to process things. And I can't help but feel smacked in the face by the reality of this news. Has anyone else had to process anything like this? What can I do to care for myself? I don't want to bog myself down with predictions of how the marriage will play out - I don't want to think about it at all! How can I keep from thinking about it?