He likes me... or he likes me as a friend...
February 20, 2014 6:02 PM Subscribe
I met a guy recently and interact with him in a school and social context. How do I figure out if he wants to date me, or is just happy to have a new friend in an area he recently moved to?
posted by Chaussette Fantoche to Human Relations (13 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
So we're in college and have a class together. He just moved here and hasn't met many people socially, but he joined a group I'm part of (not having any idea I was a part of it). We've hung out in a group context, and I invited him to hang out with a few of my friends from another social circle, which he came to and enjoyed.
He's a bit shy, and I've probably been sending him mixed signals (for various reasons including that I wasn't feeling well all week and now have the flu :/). I'm hesitant to ask him out because he's someone I'd like to have as a friend regardless, and don't want to nip that friendship with awkwardness.
So, interactions that make me think he's into me: at 1st social event, we were talking alone (I initiated the convo), and a friend of mine who was there later told me we looked like we were on a date, leaning towards each other and such. During that night (note: he was getting drunk), he asked to be FB friends (which he requested the next day), asked for my number (which I said sure, but didn't give him at the time), and said we should watch a movie sometime. Then at the other social thing, he walked with me to my public transpo ride home and waited for several minutes with me, and after class waited for public transpo with me even though neither time was he taking it. We've also been chatting online.
Complications: I know I've sent him mixed signals, partially cuz I was unsure if I wanted to pursue anything at first. He's an introvert, and I'd rather him make the first move, so it's complicated... So I've tried to show that at least I like having him around by inviting him to things, but these are things that could easily be read as "just friends" things, and also because I do tend to be very open to adding new friends into my social circle (which he knows), he could be reading my invites as trying to form a platonic friendship. Also there's been a couple times where he's held his gaze on my face without talking, which seems like a flirty thing but I get awkward and look down.
So at this point, I'm unsure if he likes-likes me or not, he's probably feeling the same way, likely neither of us want to rock the boat, and I think he might be too shy to flat out ask me out. I know I should "just ask him out," but the thought flat-out terrifies me (in part because of past bad experiences). I also haven't been dating recently because of some self-esteem issues that I'm working on.
Any light y'all could shed on determining his feelings would be awesome.