How do I talk with my spouse about her long term unemployment?
February 19, 2014 2:46 PM Subscribe
I'm not sure how to talk with my wife about the issues surrounding her long term unemployment. I don't want to come across as demanding or nagging, but I do want to express some concerns that I have honestly and clearly. How have you successfully communicated about this touchy subject with your significant other?
posted by Chuck Barris to Human Relations (23 answers total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
My wife and I are in our early 30's, and our family includes an elementary school age stepson from her previous marriage. My wife has been unemployed for a little over a year now, which is just a few months less than we've been married. My salary is enough to pay for all the household expenses, but with virtually nothing left over for savings or investing. (We have made significant spending cuts since she lost her job.) I've been holding in some worries that I have because I didn't want to come across as being too hard on her during a difficult time. As of now, I simply never bring up the subject of her unemployment. I don't ask her about a job search, discuss how her situation is making things very tight financially, or talk about my worries that our important plans for the next couple of years (buying a house, having a second child) seem to be on indefinite hiatus.
Here's the hard part: I'm sure my wife knows that her unemployment is making both our lives harder, causing us to put off future plans, etc. Is there a way to talk to her about my own feelings without coming across as nagging or kicking her while she's down? I'd like to break my own bad habit of dealing with uncomfortable subject by just avoiding them. How have you successfully talked about long term unemployment with your own spouse?