How do I learn to live on my own?
February 17, 2014 1:06 PM Subscribe
I've never been close to either of my parents and was really only close to one set of grandparents. Well, the last of my grandparents died recently and I'm rapidly realizing just how alone I am. How do I come to terms with this? How do I proceed in having a happy and successful life in the knowledge that I'm really without a safety net?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (8 answers total) 16 users marked this as a favorite
1) Both of my parents are still living and are superficially nice to me and I know that on some level they care about me. They're also incredibly self-absorbed and have their own families that they focus on and engage with. I've always been in the periphery and don't expect that to ever change. I also have huge problems with the way that they have chosen to live their lives and don't really want to engage and get drawn into that.
2) I have aunts and uncles on both sides of my family that are also superficially nice and have been a huge help with the death of my last grandparent, but again... they have their own families and lives. They also don't live near where I live now or where I'll be living in the near future.
3) I am currently living in a place that I objectively like a lot, but I'll only be here until August. It's also incredibly cold and with the current upheaval in my life, I don't have money to spend to go out and do much of anything. I expect that when the weather gets warmer, I'll be able to go out and hike and do free/cheap things that I love, but that's at least a couple of months away. The place that I'll be moving to in August is somewhere that I already have a decent network of friends and is much cheaper/warmer, so at least that will be easier.
4) The primary questions that I have are these:
a) When I've spent the last 30 something years with my grandparent(s) as my anchor, how do I deal with that anchor being removed?
b) How do I deal with accepting that I might just be without a family? I know I can meet someone, build my own family, etc... but none of that is ever certain. This is especially hard around holiday and such.