How to love the hater?
February 15, 2014 11:38 AM Subscribe
What should I do about the bigotry of close family members?
posted by TheGoodBlood to Human Relations (18 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
I'm back home for a visit. Unfortunately that means having to deal with the racism (and we're a super mixed family, black and white and who knows what else), homophobia (and I'm gay), and all sorts of constant bigoted comments, you name it, they do it: xenophobia, anti-semitism, classism, it's incredible. I think it's got worse throughout the years, but it could be just my perception and sensibilities changing.
Plus I'm here because my elderly Mom is recovering from a mastectomy, so I really should be in my "best behavior," yet today I lost it and left the lunch table (we were done with eating if it matters) talking in a bit of a loud voice ("I have better things to do than listening to this") after she said that foreigners should have no rights and should never speak up about any injustices they see or suffer and should keep their heads down — including me (I live now in a foreign country).
I know exactly what to do and I won't lose it again. I will ignore, disengage, change the subject, pretend that I don't understand. But I don't know what to do with myself. Those people are good in general, and love me to bits. My question is: how can I deal with my emotions in this situation? How can I reconcile my love for them with my contempt for theirs words and the sadness and hurt that follows?