Advice on Adopting a Father
February 14, 2014 3:45 PM Subscribe
I want to adopt a dad (see extended explanation on why). I'm thinking maybe even a nice gay male couple, a two for one deal! This does not need to be a formal adoption - I have plenty of "parents" (2 moms) - I'm just looking for someone who doesn't have any children (hence thinking about an older gay couple) who might want to "adopt" a kid because they've got some extra love lying around (and maybe some really adorable dogs) and I don't have a relationship with my dad.
I would like some advice.
1) Where should I look?
2) What are things I need to consider?
3) How would you go about doing this?
4) Any other thoughts or observations?
I'm just sort of tossing this idea around and thinking I'd get some data points from you all.
posted by Jericha to Human Relations (34 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
I had a horrible relationship with my father. Around this time (February) in 2001 we mutually agreed to never speak again. He was abusive (emotionally and physically) and he has alienated himself from my sister and me. He was toxic (bipolar with narcissistic personality disorder); I'm not sad he's out of the picture. My mom briefly married again in the '80s but divorced my step-father when I was 12 (I'm 37 now) and he was not a terrific man either. My mom has chosen to stay single ever since. My former step-mother and I are still very close - she divorced my dad in 2000 and re-married in 2003. Her husband is cordial but has never had children and seems to find me and my sister "mildly annoying" and "inconvenient" when we want to see our Mom (my step-mom is sister's mother, my sister is a half-sister but we are extremely close). So he's not really a great father figure.
Info about me (in case you need to know it) - female, finishing up a Ph.D. Live in Europe but originally from the States. Married, no kids but might have one (considering it). Financially well-off so I don't need a dad to "support" me etc., this is very much just a personal relationship thing.
Things I want in a dad(s): Kind, funny, smart (not necessarily book smart, and doesn't have to have a college degree, just "life smart" is acceptable - but I have to be able to have a conversation), likes some of the things I like, like James Bond movies, hiking, reading, yoga, travel, etc. Very sane and rational and emotionally mature.