I don't have and cant keep girl friends ... why?
February 9, 2014 6:46 PM Subscribe
Since breaking up with my husband a few years ago I resolved to make some female friends. I've never really had girl friends, because I've always had a boyfriend and/or kind of liked doing things by myself (working by myself, writing, starting companies, etc.)
I managed to become friends with a few women but I can't get close to them for one reason or another. First, I don't drink or smoke and find the girls I've 'befriended' to have too many vices (they smoke weed, spend time with other friends drinking or partying, have questionable morals (e.g. they are the other woman in their relationship, or have been involved in heavy drugs, etc.) for me to feel like we have a lot in common.
I realize.. (contd inside)
posted by soooo to Human Relations (41 answers total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
I probably need a hobby, but the hobbies i've chosen is where I encountered some these women. I also used to go out a lot and met some of the girls through male friends, or just from making random chatter at a bar.
It's as if there are no girls my age who are just interested in clean fun. Perhaps not drinking makes me too boring? I spend my time writing books, working out, talking to my boyfriend, occasionally going to start up / entrepreneurial events, and I used to go to parties/clubs/karaoke but not so much since my relationship.
I did meet one girl at school (I've since graduated) who was kind of like me in that she was into clean living, but after inviting her out a few times and her declining b/c she was doing things with her bf I gave up on her. I should mention we're fb friends and she seems to make time to do luck and attend events/activities with her other girl friends.
I feel like I will never have a bunch of girlfriends like some women and I can't help but feel i'm missing out on something.
I also tried to reconnect with an old friend but found she was kind of a drunk and her bf smokes weed nonstop. After discussing with her my disappointment in learning my own brother was smoking and then her seeming a little defensive b/c of her bf, we never hung out after that. I mentioned us doing lunch but she never responded. I did however just attend her surprise birthday party as her bf invited me.
Now that my bf is temporarily away, I've come to realize I've failed miserably at what I set out to do after my last relationship and have fallen back into the same rut - lots of acquaintances but none to call my best friend or close friend.
Should I just give up or what could I possibly be doing wrong?