My sweetie and I live where we're both finishing grad school, and are having a hard time figuring out where we could move in ~6 months that we would both be happy and employed. He works in applied statistics, I'm a forest ecologist. Wall o' text inside.
posted by momus_window to Human Relations (18 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
We've been together about eight months, we're mid-30s, we love each other, we get on like peas and carrots, we'd like to shack up somewhere that isn't here once we graduate. Neither of us want kids. We both have substantial savings to support a move + some time job-hunting. Both of us have moved somewhere we didn't really want to be for an SO, and we're breaking up if we can't find a mutually beneficial city. This sucks.
I'm going to be a bit vague to preserve some semblance of anonymity, memail me if you want more detail.
He currently has a job for a small company - he works from home, but it's not clear if they'd let him move away. He has a specialized skill set (hint: see his preferred cities below), which means it would both be hard for them to replace him and he has limited options to find other equally-good jobs. He will probably consistently make way more money than I will. He doesn't love the city we're in, but he's fine with staying here for the job. He's been unemployed long-term in the past, and it was really hard on him. He's also been checking out PhD programs, and that plays into places he could live. He likes football, watching sports generally, movies, and downhill skiing.
I'm getting an MS in biology, and am looking at environmental consulting and government jobs. I'd probably also be happy as a lab tech. I have a background as an admin assistant and would be fine with doing that for a bit while I looked for jobs in my field. I lived in Portland, OR for about eight years and want to move back. I have close friends there. I like the climate, love the forests, like hiking and xc skiing and the beer scene. I get around via bike and transit, although I'm not against buying a car if I need to.
We're also just having trouble with how to handle this. Do we pick a city first? Should he feel out his job re: moving (he's a bit concerned about rocking the boat)?
Some places we've talked about:
Here: He keeps his job. I probably pick up teaching gigs at the uni, find a government job in time. I'm pretty sure I'd start to resent living here - it's a small town, recreation opportunities are limited, the local culture is conservative. Because it's a university town, there's a lot of flux and a lot of the businesses are focused on the undergraduates. He doesn't love the location, but likes having an interesting, somewhat stable job. Also, football.
PDX, OR: great for me, as above. I would take a subpar job to live here. He's concerned he couldn't find a job (only possible employers we've IDed are the sports teams), no grad program for him, and there's no football in town.
Seattle, WA: I get to live in the PNW - forests, hiking, jobs. Close to my friends. There's a PhD program that would work for him. Pro football / pro sports. He might be able to find a job in the startup scene.
Las Vegas, NV: Great for him. Jobs galore, grad program, likes the city. His current company might go for having someone physically located in NV. I've never been there. I hate the desert. I don't think the job opportunities are great for me there.
Reno, NV: Possible compromise? I can have forests + jobs, he can be in Nevada. Skiing and hiking. Close to Bay Area.
Vancouver, BC: His company currently has an office there, but it might be closing. I get to live in PNW, forests, there are labs in my interest area there, Canada sounds fun! Logistically more complicated since we're both US citizens.
United Kingdom: Dark horse, again with the logistical problems. I've lived in the UK and liked it a lot. I'm interested in a European-style PhD, there are large companies he could work for (London and a smaller town). Moderate climate, enjoyable culture, opportunity to travel in Europe.
Ideas? Where are we missing? Are our assumptions about these places wrong?