Mother got a job in my workplace behind my back.
February 7, 2014 10:06 AM Subscribe
I have been working a steady job at a fairly close-knit company for about 3 years, and was recently promoted. My mother applied behind my back and got a job in the same company. We do not get along. Should I quit?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (31 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
We will be working in the same building, on the same projects, and interacting with the same people, though she will be in an entry assembler job, whereas I will be working at a desk job. I'm young in comparison to my peers, so I've had to work hard to be acknowledged in spite of my appearance/age/inexperience.
I've already worked with her before at a different company and witnessed her ugliest sides, from her cattiness to her gossiping. I felt like nobody at that job took me seriously because they saw me as a “momma’s kid” and felt that I had no privacy or independence in that position. I quit that job after a year, vowed never to look back, and got a new job at the company where I work now.
I value my privacy at work and don't like mixing family dynamics and the workplace. To add to that, I don't have a good relationship with my mother. Putting us in the same building reeks of trouble.
Should I quit my job? If not, what else can I do? I’ve tried speaking to her and expressing how stressful it would be to share a common workplace, but she refuses to quit. From previous experience, I know how nightmarish it is to work in the same company as her. On the other hand, I'm going to school part-time and working towards my degree, so the benefits and wages really help with paying for rent/utilities/tuition. I've built up a strong network within the company, and my current manager has promised me a higher-level job within the company as soon as I get my BS.
She is in her early 60s, and should be gearing up for retirement. However, due to her poor financial habits, she barely has enough to live on and has no savings whatsoever. My oldest brother has asked her several times to come live with him, but she refuses.
We live together. Seeing her both at work AND home at the end of the day is enough to push me over the edge. She has breached my privacy by informing everyone of where we live (next to work and I have kept it private for 3 years...until now).
She is financially irresponsible and often resorts to asking myself and my siblings for money. We have bailed her out of heaping debt multiple times, only for her to sink into it again and again. We’ve led her to resources and books on personal finance, but she still spends beyond her means, insisting on having the best or giving away money to relatives despite not having enough to support her own lifestyle.
At my last job (where we worked together), she would try to set me up with other single employees there, which was awkward for all. She would burn bridges with other coworkers and expect me to side with her. She’d speak badly of other coworkers to me in her native language while they would stand just a few feet from us. Although I asked her to maintain professional boundaries, she never did.
Anon in case anyone from work is reading and can recognize my username. If anyone has advice or would like to email me, I made a throwaway account: firstname.lastname@example.org
Any thoughts/suggestions are appreciated!
Tl;dr: Have terrible relationship with mother. She got a job behind my back at my workplace. What now?