, as per Pervocracy) only now I'm worried that it's just going to make things worse.
I love my partner dearly -- we've been together for almost 10 years. We live together. We're very happy. We agree on the major things (kids, religion, finances, etc). But we don't really communicate well about serious things. He tends to shut down when I bring up anything he doesn't want to talk about (admittedly, this is probably my bad as well, since I can come off as critical. I am working on this).
The problem is that we don't have sex nearly as often as I'd like, and I've been trying to work up the nerve to bring this up for almost a year. So, after reading Pervocracy's post on relationship negotiation
, I foolishly blurted out a "let's a have a check-in!". Then I put it in the calendar to solidify the date.
Only now I'm worried. Really, the only big issue for me is the sex issue. What if he doesn't have anything to bring to the table? What if it's awkward and useless? What if he shuts me out, as usual, and then I have to accept that this is how things are gonna be forever?
Has anyone had this kind of thing before -- a scheduled relationship meeting, with a motive going in? Has it worked out? Any tips?
I offered to send him some things to think about, some jumping points for conversation. But I can't think of any! Help, please.
Should I just call the whole thing off?