How much self-introspection was done before cutting people out of life?
February 4, 2014 7:39 PM Subscribe
I see quite a few questions come through AskMeFi regarding issues that occur when people physically and/or emotionally cut off other people from their lives.
How much self-introspection did you do before you decided to cut a person(s) out of your life?
Here is an excerpt from an article I found on the effects of Estrangement Trauma:
When someone has an estranged relationship with their family, the question is often whether the distance they place between themselves and their family members is due to healthy boundaries (it is certainly true that some relationships are toxic and that one is better served to end them), or instead due to an unprocessed emotional detachment.
According to Bowen Theory, those who use emotional cutoff as a coping mechanism often ironically end up trying to replicate their prior relationships in their new ones in order to fill an emotional hole or make things "different this time." This can result in a lot of stress on family, friends, or colleagues-and can also, in some cases, lead to the repetition of abusive patterns.
It's worth repeating that there are people who do horrendous things to other people, and the only sane and reasonable response is to have nothing to do with that person(s).
But it is also true that some people cut person(s) out of their lives because of "unprocessed emotional detachments" of their own. This can sometimes result in the same type of relationship being formed over and over again but with different people.
How did you decide if it was you or them; or maybe it was a combination of the two?
For people who have an estranged family member, how does it feel to be estranged from someone you care/cared so much about?
Here is an excerpt from an article I found on the effects of Estrangement Trauma:
When someone has an estranged relationship with their family, the question is often whether the distance they place between themselves and their family members is due to healthy boundaries (it is certainly true that some relationships are toxic and that one is better served to end them), or instead due to an unprocessed emotional detachment.
According to Bowen Theory, those who use emotional cutoff as a coping mechanism often ironically end up trying to replicate their prior relationships in their new ones in order to fill an emotional hole or make things "different this time." This can result in a lot of stress on family, friends, or colleagues-and can also, in some cases, lead to the repetition of abusive patterns.
It's worth repeating that there are people who do horrendous things to other people, and the only sane and reasonable response is to have nothing to do with that person(s).
But it is also true that some people cut person(s) out of their lives because of "unprocessed emotional detachments" of their own. This can sometimes result in the same type of relationship being formed over and over again but with different people.
How did you decide if it was you or them; or maybe it was a combination of the two?
For people who have an estranged family member, how does it feel to be estranged from someone you care/cared so much about?
This post was deleted for the following reason: Sorry, this reads as more of a discussion-starter/survey, aka chatfilter. -- LobsterMitten
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