Mending a friendship and now I can't stand up at his wedding... advice?
January 22, 2014 4:37 PM Subscribe
Over the past two years an old friend and I have been working to mend years of mutual resentment stemming from poor choices we both made in the past. I don't feel like the details of those choices are particularly relevant to the problem at hand, but we've both had to reach out and admit to wrongdoing. This isn't a one-way issue, we both did horrible things to each other.
posted by ISeemToBeAVerb to Human Relations (18 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
Anyhow… last summer he asked me to be a groomsman in his wedding and I said yes. He mentioned that the wedding would be a travel affair, but he assured me that he and his fiancee would be doing everything possible to keep costs down for their guests. My financial state over the past few years has been tight, so this was a concern of mine.
Last fall the best man announced the bachelor party would be held in Chicago (where I used to live), so I spent around $350-400 to fly up for the weekend and attend the party.
Now, as the wedding approaches (in the first week of April), I'm beginning to realize the costs for this wedding will be significantly more than I thought.
All told, I'm looking at ~$800-900 to attend the wedding, and that doesn't include a gift. Add to that the cost of the bachelor party and I'm over the $1000 mark.
If he and I were on strong terms, I'd have no hesitation to be honest with him and just tell him I can't afford it. However, given our past and the fact that he has a tendency to take things personally, I feel like he'll see this as another reason to think I don't care about our friendship.