How to help teen with alcoholic parent
January 21, 2014 6:06 AM Subscribe
A family friend who is divorced has been an alcoholic for more then several years. She has primary custody of a teenage daughter. We have kept in touch with the alcoholic mom but sporadically due to her behavior. Recently I found out the the daughter was cutting and acting out, I believe due to the stress of living with her mom. Because of this I started texting the daughter just to check in and give her some positive messages (mostly like “hope you have a good day” and “I’m so impressed how you did on that test”). I did ask her if she’d like to go to an alateen meeting which she agreed to but only if I went with her. However we haven’t set a date.
posted by lasamana to Human Relations (14 answers total)
The mom just did something particularly neglectful and I decided to cut off contact with her and let the daughter know. But I also let the daughter know I’d still check in with her and will always be around if she needs help. The dad is somewhat in the picture and I recently learned he is making more of an effort and that the mom had sort of been “gate-keeping” him out. If you were this kid, what would you have wanted from a non-relative adult? The school was notified by the dad of the mom’s behavior and they are also keeping tabs on daughter. I don’t want to overstep my boundaries but I am concerned about the daughter’s choice of friends and her lack of structure (I have known this kid since she was very young). I don’t have daughters but I’m not sure that makes a difference. I’m looking for ways to help but also non-pressuring too. To add- there is extended family (who I'm friends with as well) but they are not local. There are also older siblings but they have left and have no relationship with the mother any longer.