It's been a long, long time coming...
January 12, 2014 11:13 PM Subscribe
My relationship is great, with one small problem - no matter what my girlfriend and I try, I'm not having an orgasm. Oversharing details inside...
posted by Ed The Sock to Human Relations (30 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I'm a straight dude, mid-thirties and was a virgin before this relationship with really no dating history to speak of, although (unfortunately in retrospect) with a vigorous "death grip" masturbation habit. She's of similar age, and has a fairly short relationship history herself. We've been dating for going on four months now, and it's great. We spend every weekend (and a night or two between) snuggled up at my place - we're quite physically affectionate - and it's starting to feel like it could be something serious. She's super great; funny, kind, smart, really compatible values.
I've always been easily able to make her come, so that's great, but she hasn't been able to return the favour. Actual vaginal intercourse is difficult; I'm pretty overweight with a big belly and a shorter penis, so reverse cowgirl is the only position that works, and I frequently slip out. On top of that, I'm uncircumcised and my foreskin rolls back, exposing my super-sensitive head and causing me pain, so we can only do it with a condom; all I usually feel is a vague warm sensation.
When she tries oral/masturbation to get me off, it's pleasant for a while but eventually (after plenty of effort on her behalf - these sessions stretch towards an hour) I just kind of get numb, and it seems pretty clear I'm not going to climax. I have a hard time providing coherent feedback; I really enjoy what she's doing, but it's just not putting me over the edge.
I did knock off masturbation entirely for the first month or so, but I just got so horny I eventually gave in. I now masturbate and climax once or twice a week -- I had been doing it every day before we started dating.
We're starting to get frustrated -- especially her -- with the lack of progress. We do have pretty open communication about sex (she's laying next to me right now). Any ideas and suggestions would be great, thanks!