Help me get over being dumped by a close friend.
January 11, 2014 8:53 AM Subscribe
A good friend of mine has gone several months not speaking to me with no explanation, I finally reached out asking what was wrong and she replied with a passive-aggressive email ending our friendship.
posted by shotinthedark to Society & Culture (29 answers total) 12 users marked this as a favorite
I've been "friend-dumped" before several times, though it hadn't happened since senior year of high school. Sadly, it's made me highly rejection sensitive (I always think people are going to leave/reject me for no reason), something I've been working through with a therapist.
However, I recently had a friend slowly stop talking to me. This was a good friend -- we hosted our birthday parties together last year, used to hang out all the time less than a year ago. We met in college about 8 years ago. I kept texting her/emailing as per usual, but suddenly she started ignoring me. I made a lot of internal excuses -- maybe she was busy, she'd just started a new job. Finally reached out via email after a few months and she told me she was sorry, she'd been depressed, her new job was awful but she was quitting, etc. Emailed back saying how proud I was of her for quitting, and asking if she wanted to grab coffee and talk about it. Nothing.
Now, a year rolls around, and it's her birthday again. No invite. She invited 90 friends to a bar on Facebook, but didn't include me. Her friends, who I also used to be close with, have also totally stopped talking to me. I finally reached out after becoming really upset/down about it, asking her if I did something terrible that I didn't realize, and apologizing for whatever it was. She wrote me back the next day apologizing for ignoring me but finally telling me "we were two different people, and had nothing in common now." It basically felt like the worst breakup conversation ever, and total bullshit.
I have casual friends and close friends from college I now have nothing in common with that I still check in with, though I don't hang out with them. I've never flat-out ignored someone who I used to be super close with. This is a girl who once called me "one of her best friends in the city," and we actually do have a lot in common (similar interests, similar temperaments.) Am I wrong for being upset with how she's acted? I have no desire to be her friend now, as I'm incredibly hurt and have been treated pretty poorly by people over the past year. But I want to work past this and trust people to be my friends again and I don't know how.
Anyone else gone through this? We're both 27, if it matters.