Utterly and completely alone
January 10, 2014 1:32 PM Subscribe
My life isn't perfect, but it's certainly isn't very bad at all, especially in comparison to other peoples troubles. Still, every so often, things get really really bad. The problem is that I can't afford paid therapy, and my support network is... Not really helpful.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (25 answers total) 24 users marked this as a favorite
Basically the problem is this: in my moments of despair and crisis, reaching out to the people closest to me only compounds my problems.
With my spouse letting on how bad I feel is very likely to start them into their own tailspin of this despair. I'm not close to anyone who I think would be sympathetic or would want to hear it and a few others who I can think of who are close enough to me would just and have told me to toughen up and bite the bullet.
This is causing me a problem mainly because for some reason I think that when I am feeling despair, there should be someone that I can turn to who will be my rock while I weather the storm. I feel like I have been and I've had to be that person for other people, but there's nobody like that for me. Looking at it logically after I typed it all out like that I guess there's no reason why there should be someone like that for me.
These are my questions:
1) how do I truly and deeply let go of the idea that there should be somebody I can turn to who will be strong for me? How do I come to terms with my fundamental aloneness?
2) Until I have a completed number one how do I stop myself from reaching out and in my moments my of worst crisis? And that making my situation worse every time I reach out because then I have to deal with the problems that reaching out causes.
I realize reading this now that a lot of people are just going to say see a shrink and get therapy and medication for depression so I just want to reiterate that, I am really not depressed for most of my life I just go through bad times sometimes. Also I cannot afford to going to credit card debt, free and low-cost options are not available to me, and on top of that neither does my work schedule allow for appointments.
If anybody wants to take a crack at answering my questions I'll be very grateful thank you so much.