I feel invisible. Either that, or just forgotten/not cared for. Any solutions or experiences coping with being ignored?
posted by dubious_dude to Human Relations (36 answers total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
Last December, I resigned from my job in retail. I was unhappy and burnt out, and just couldn't take the steam anymore, so I decided to resign, get some rest at home for the holidays, and come back to where I currently live recharged, then jobhunt.
I was fairly close with quite a few co-workers. We would crack jokes, laugh, and enjoy each other's presence in person. I decided to do something random, and quite fitting for the holidays, by taking a picture of myself with each employee at the store - as many as I possibly could - individual pictures. I then posted those pictures on a photo-sharing website (private) and enclosed the link to the photo-sharing website in my farewell email (those emails are common at my former place of work), along with an invitation to add me on FB, Instagram, and also shared my personal email. Only a few co-workers approached me and thanked me for the photo-sharing album, complimenting me on the idea. Most did not respond or say anything until I asked them if they saw the photos.
After my last day at work, I only heard from one co-worker, but got zero, zilch, nada personal emails/Facebook/Instagram adds. It really stung. I felt I put all that effort into connecting with everyone, only to get almost nothing in return/no reciprocals at all. I thought I had developed some good work relationships, and saw a potential for personal relationships to expand as well, but I guess I was wrong.
I sent quite a few personal friends of mine personal videos on texts during Thanksgiving personally wishing them a Happy Thanksgiving. Only a few friends personally responded; others did not. I understand not getting a reply on Thanksgiving Day (or a couple days afterwards, everyone is busy with family, friends, yada yada), but to completely ignore/not respond is another thing. (And, for the record, some of them had read receipts on their iPhones turned on; so the videos were shown as read/seen. It's not a matter of the video not being delivered.)
Lately, I've felt I'm invisible in some way. I get almost no texts at all on an average day; most of the texting are started by me, and not the other way around, and I've had a few people recently unfollow me on Instagram for no apparent reason. I don't post 2 or 100 photos a day on Instagram, I feel my photos are decent (of course, everyone has their own standards), and... it's just rubbing me the wrong way. It's kind of like, all of a sudden, I'm not wanted in anyone's lives. I don't know who my true friends are. During I was home at Christmas, I felt like my mom kept brushing my suggestions off, such as what kind of food to serve at our Christmas party, and my sister was acting kind of attitude-y towards me (she's 18, though, so I guess that's to be expected). It's kind of feeling the same way from all sides.
The question I have for the Green? Any good ideas on how to cope and to stop feeling hurt by each unfollow, ignored text (and believe me, there's quite a few), short of therapy (can't afford it right now, looking into it for the future long-term)? How do you cope with it, especially if you're already a lonely person by nature? Is there a way to make myself more attractive/likable to people (if that's the issue at hand)? Also, any suggestions on making new friends? It's a bit limited in the Deaf community as it is.
Certain dynamics include... I'm Deaf. My co-workers were all hearing; family hearing; personal friends (including those who unfollowed me on IG/ignored my texts = Deaf).