The best blow job techniques, videos and practitioners?
January 3, 2014 11:39 AM Subscribe
What adult videos feature the best, most passionate and intense blow jobs? Who are the best practitioners?
My girlfriend and I were discussing this, as she has never been versed in oral sex but seems very interested in getting more creative with it. For my part, it feels good at first but gets repetitive and I go a little numb. I do look at porn, but have never focused on the oral sex. I know Jenna Jameson is supposed to be infamous for this, but she is too overtly "porny" and silicon for either my girlfriend and I to watch together.
Can anyone post specific URLS to videos where the oral sex is given intensely / passionately / creatively by someone who looks more like the girl next door? Something beyond just the up-and-down technique, someone who obviously really enjoys giving it. Failing that, could you list adult stars especially known for this? Thanks!
My girlfriend and I were discussing this, as she has never been versed in oral sex but seems very interested in getting more creative with it. For my part, it feels good at first but gets repetitive and I go a little numb. I do look at porn, but have never focused on the oral sex. I know Jenna Jameson is supposed to be infamous for this, but she is too overtly "porny" and silicon for either my girlfriend and I to watch together.
Can anyone post specific URLS to videos where the oral sex is given intensely / passionately / creatively by someone who looks more like the girl next door? Something beyond just the up-and-down technique, someone who obviously really enjoys giving it. Failing that, could you list adult stars especially known for this? Thanks!
First, I think trying to learn about how to have sex from porn is kind of like trying to learn how to cook from watching Masterchef. It's all edited and fake and what looks good for the camera isn't necessarily what feels good for both of you. That being said, if you're set on this approach:
If you want to see people giving blowjobs who really like giving blowjobs, you're much more likely to find this in gay porn than in straight. I understand that may not be an option for you, but could be an option for her if she wants to see more blowjob variation. I'll have to dig to find anything useful, if it's something you want.
To answer what seems to be your underlying question, your best bet is to talk with your girlfriend about what you like. You say it gets repetitive after a while and you go numb, yeah? One of the easiest ways to deal with that is a tiny little bit of direction: "Baby, suck my balls now" or "do that thing with your tongue again" or whatever. It can also be really, really hot to be laying in bed with your partner, maybe hands wandering around a bit, discussing exactly how you like things to be done to you (and to her!)
What I'm saying is, porn is built for visual consumption in a heightened and artificial way, and isn't really all that likely to give either of you great techniques for actual sex. Communicating with each other about your likes and dislikes is much more likely to end up with both of you coming gangbusters.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 11:56 AM on January 3, 2014 [2 favorites]
If you want to see people giving blowjobs who really like giving blowjobs, you're much more likely to find this in gay porn than in straight. I understand that may not be an option for you, but could be an option for her if she wants to see more blowjob variation. I'll have to dig to find anything useful, if it's something you want.
To answer what seems to be your underlying question, your best bet is to talk with your girlfriend about what you like. You say it gets repetitive after a while and you go numb, yeah? One of the easiest ways to deal with that is a tiny little bit of direction: "Baby, suck my balls now" or "do that thing with your tongue again" or whatever. It can also be really, really hot to be laying in bed with your partner, maybe hands wandering around a bit, discussing exactly how you like things to be done to you (and to her!)
What I'm saying is, porn is built for visual consumption in a heightened and artificial way, and isn't really all that likely to give either of you great techniques for actual sex. Communicating with each other about your likes and dislikes is much more likely to end up with both of you coming gangbusters.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 11:56 AM on January 3, 2014 [2 favorites]
Nina Hartley is pretty accessible and (I guess) non-porny. NSFW
posted by KokuRyu at 12:21 PM on January 3, 2014
posted by KokuRyu at 12:21 PM on January 3, 2014
I was going to direct you to watch-us-fuck.com but it seems the site is defunct. If you're comfortable with downloading things then I'd suggest looking for their videos on other sites; it's amateur (if you can still call it that if you do it as your full time job for years) and seems very authentic. The people are attractive but not plastic looking and I remember the oral being very passionate and real.
Ah - for some reason they have moved the site to openlovesite (because telling mom&dad was embarassing when they had to say 'fuck' I guess?)
posted by phearlez at 12:59 PM on January 3, 2014
Ah - for some reason they have moved the site to openlovesite (because telling mom&dad was embarassing when they had to say 'fuck' I guess?)
posted by phearlez at 12:59 PM on January 3, 2014
Others have made some good points about sources of inspiration. If you're looking for actors known for their skills, several male porn stars that have done Reddit AMAs have indeed lauded Jenna Haze's blowjobs. Camille Crimson (among others) makes artfully done videos, and her Art of the Blowjob series would probably be useful for that. It's helpful to remember that just as real sex isn't porn, it isn't all gauzy filters and classical music either.
That being said, you both need to communicate about what works best or is most comfortable for both of you. Any inspiration or education should really just be starting points, and there are factors outside of just penis and mouth. Some people are turned on by eye contact, or moaning, or being able to caress or be caressed by their partner. Just try a bunch of stuff and see what sticks (as it were). It may also be useful to not just think of the blowjob as the means to an end. Perhaps blowjobs work better for you and/or her as foreplay, or as a special occasion kind of thing.
posted by zombieflanders at 1:48 PM on January 3, 2014
That being said, you both need to communicate about what works best or is most comfortable for both of you. Any inspiration or education should really just be starting points, and there are factors outside of just penis and mouth. Some people are turned on by eye contact, or moaning, or being able to caress or be caressed by their partner. Just try a bunch of stuff and see what sticks (as it were). It may also be useful to not just think of the blowjob as the means to an end. Perhaps blowjobs work better for you and/or her as foreplay, or as a special occasion kind of thing.
posted by zombieflanders at 1:48 PM on January 3, 2014
I'm going to start by suggesting that you watch male porn stars who really obviously enjoy getting blow jobs. James Deen has a lot of scenes where he is a very obviously enthusiastic recipient. Peter North has a reputation for being enthusiastic. (thanks denizens of metachat) Also, yes on gay porn having lots of variety in the blow job department. Covert dick sucking, proud dick sucking. Slow, fast. Talking, no talking. Lots of variety. So ya. Watch some gay porn? Really, any porn that involves blow jobs will offer you both something to talk about. And now, on to the answer that is tl;dr "porn will not solve this problem."
Penises are not a monolith. What totally rocks one man's world might be utterly boring/too hard/too fast/too whatever for another man (or even for the same man in different situations camping sex is not the same as just had a massage sex....). So watch all the porn. Build a vast library of cock sucking imagery for both of you. No necessarily by actress name. You might start to maybe refer to the "red dress blow job" or "that scene from the back seat of the mustang" or whatever.
For this reason, you really need to get more comfortable talking about what you like. This might start out in the context of watching porn together -narrating what you're seeing. Be willing to say "what she's doing right now looks like it would feel really good" or "she's going faster than I like right now" or "when she pulls on his balls while she licks him...that made me excited."
But it has to continue in the context of the two of you alone, and naked, and verbing each other's nouns. You have to learn pacing and tone. The difference between a request and a demand. You have to learn how to say "that's nice" and "oh, yes" in addition to "harder" or "tighter" or "less fingernails."
If you're the type of guy who just silently lies there while someone is sucking your dick, it would not surprise me that it's numbing and boring for you. Dicks can be really really boring. What makes sucking cock interesting/fun/rewarding/tolerable is the person on the other end expressing their appreciation and enjoyment. Grunting barely counts as appreciation.
Ask her how she feels about hair pulling, and other uses of your hands. Me, I cannot stand for a guy to try to speed me up (or slow me down) by using some part of my head like a pump or a handle. It's the fastest way to guarantee that a blow job ends. Some women don't want anyone to touch their head at all. Some women really enjoy having their hair pulled, or whatever.
And finally, I shouldn't need to say this, but I don't know if I do. So I'll include it. Ask her sometime, outside the bedroom, if she's happy with the quality/quantity/enthusiasm of your ministrations. Frame this as you wanting her to enjoy herself as well. If she wants more or less going down/some other activity, hopefully you are creating a space where she also feels comfortable to express that. If she does request changes, treat this gently. Again, I am not assuming that you do need this advice, but offering it in case you do. And definitely offering it for every other guy who reads this question in the future. Since I'm already getting eponysterical with a username that means two lips, I might as well go all the way. Make all the lips happy. If she really knows that there's something in it for her, the quality of her blowjobs will probably be better than if she's just trying to get it over with. For some women that "something in it for her" is genuinely your happiness and enjoyment and the thought of a guy going down on them is not motivating. But for some it is.
Finally. Take turns with who goes first.
Ok, no really, this is the finale. Consider other ways of finishing ya, I see what I did there. Consider other amounts/kinds of foreplay before a blowjob. I say this because for lots and lots of men, the lead up to a blowjob is unzipping their pants, a bit of light fondling, and then they get their dick sucked until they orgasm. That, my friend, is a lot of dick sucking. Even if the clock says it only took three minutes, I promise you, it's a lot. If you're regularly getting 20 minute blowjobs, I can't even. She is a saint. So. More handsy time, be sure to pay her bits attention, let her watch you play with yourself, maybe fuck her tits for a while in the middle if you're both into that. Maybe take a break and use a toy. Consider a cock ring. Some men love a vibrator. If it's just her mouth (and hands) plus you're dick...ya. I can see how that's getting boring for you.
posted by bilabial at 5:41 PM on January 3, 2014 [8 favorites]
Penises are not a monolith. What totally rocks one man's world might be utterly boring/too hard/too fast/too whatever for another man (or even for the same man in different situations camping sex is not the same as just had a massage sex....). So watch all the porn. Build a vast library of cock sucking imagery for both of you. No necessarily by actress name. You might start to maybe refer to the "red dress blow job" or "that scene from the back seat of the mustang" or whatever.
For this reason, you really need to get more comfortable talking about what you like. This might start out in the context of watching porn together -narrating what you're seeing. Be willing to say "what she's doing right now looks like it would feel really good" or "she's going faster than I like right now" or "when she pulls on his balls while she licks him...that made me excited."
But it has to continue in the context of the two of you alone, and naked, and verbing each other's nouns. You have to learn pacing and tone. The difference between a request and a demand. You have to learn how to say "that's nice" and "oh, yes" in addition to "harder" or "tighter" or "less fingernails."
If you're the type of guy who just silently lies there while someone is sucking your dick, it would not surprise me that it's numbing and boring for you. Dicks can be really really boring. What makes sucking cock interesting/fun/rewarding/tolerable is the person on the other end expressing their appreciation and enjoyment. Grunting barely counts as appreciation.
Ask her how she feels about hair pulling, and other uses of your hands. Me, I cannot stand for a guy to try to speed me up (or slow me down) by using some part of my head like a pump or a handle. It's the fastest way to guarantee that a blow job ends. Some women don't want anyone to touch their head at all. Some women really enjoy having their hair pulled, or whatever.
And finally, I shouldn't need to say this, but I don't know if I do. So I'll include it. Ask her sometime, outside the bedroom, if she's happy with the quality/quantity/enthusiasm of your ministrations. Frame this as you wanting her to enjoy herself as well. If she wants more or less going down/some other activity, hopefully you are creating a space where she also feels comfortable to express that. If she does request changes, treat this gently. Again, I am not assuming that you do need this advice, but offering it in case you do. And definitely offering it for every other guy who reads this question in the future. Since I'm already getting eponysterical with a username that means two lips, I might as well go all the way. Make all the lips happy. If she really knows that there's something in it for her, the quality of her blowjobs will probably be better than if she's just trying to get it over with. For some women that "something in it for her" is genuinely your happiness and enjoyment and the thought of a guy going down on them is not motivating. But for some it is.
Finally. Take turns with who goes first.
Ok, no really, this is the finale. Consider other ways of finishing ya, I see what I did there. Consider other amounts/kinds of foreplay before a blowjob. I say this because for lots and lots of men, the lead up to a blowjob is unzipping their pants, a bit of light fondling, and then they get their dick sucked until they orgasm. That, my friend, is a lot of dick sucking. Even if the clock says it only took three minutes, I promise you, it's a lot. If you're regularly getting 20 minute blowjobs, I can't even. She is a saint. So. More handsy time, be sure to pay her bits attention, let her watch you play with yourself, maybe fuck her tits for a while in the middle if you're both into that. Maybe take a break and use a toy. Consider a cock ring. Some men love a vibrator. If it's just her mouth (and hands) plus you're dick...ya. I can see how that's getting boring for you.
posted by bilabial at 5:41 PM on January 3, 2014 [8 favorites]
I think The Gay Man's Guide for Straight Women has an excellent guide to blow jobs. It's not porn but it is pretty step by step.
posted by spunweb at 10:15 PM on January 3, 2014
posted by spunweb at 10:15 PM on January 3, 2014
jenni lee is often great at the sensual blowjob, especially showing how a good blowjob is usually also a handjob. the quality of her videos is uneven, so you might have to watch a few to get to ones that you guys will like (if she's being gagged, it's the wrong time in her career). lela star is another woman who is uneven, but can be really good (but she also has some superhero abilities that can't be achieved by most people).
beyond porn, my blowjobs went from good to great when i got the advice (from a gay man) to make out with the cock too instead of imagining it as a full time pistoning contest.
posted by nadawi at 1:18 PM on January 4, 2014
beyond porn, my blowjobs went from good to great when i got the advice (from a gay man) to make out with the cock too instead of imagining it as a full time pistoning contest.
posted by nadawi at 1:18 PM on January 4, 2014
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