Is it possible to figure it out?
January 2, 2014 6:16 PM Subscribe
I was sitting around today thinking about my sort of unsuccessful dating/relationship history and feeling kind of discouraged and was all geared up to write one of those "I'm almost 30 and have never been in a long term relationship, why isn't it happening?" questions. But then I thought about it and I feel like I am making inroads into understanding why I have been single for so long. So my revised question: have you experienced (or know someone who has experienced) growing clarity about this subject that has allowed you to finally meet the right person? What does it take to be "ready" for a relationship?
posted by thesnowyslaps to Human Relations (15 answers total) 19 users marked this as a favorite
For me, I have come to a number of realizations over the past year or so about myself and relationships, and possible explanations for why I have never had anything long term (nothing past a couple of months), which have to do with low self-esteem, not having a clear idea of what I need and deserve out of a relationship, not being great at getting over people, maybe not being willing enough to put myself out there to people who I am interested in, etc. Of course, there are mitigating circumstances that are unrelated to my mental "preparedness" for a relationship in general that probably play into why I haven't met the right person for something long term as well (was super overweight and super shy in high school, went to an all-girls undergrad, lived in the middle of nowhere in a developing country for volunteer work for two years in the middle of my twenties, have moved around a fair amount in general and tend to move in female-dominated professional and social circles). But I am feeling lately like I have successfully identified and am addressing some of my personal issues around relationships. I was just wondering what the experience of others has been where being "ready" to be in a long-term relationship is concerned, particularly for people who have consistently wanted a long-term relationship but had a hard time making anything last. What kinds of factors do you think played into your being in a good place for something to finally work out? Thanks in advance!