This is a question I've waffled on asking for years, but I turn to MeFi as I find myself looking up where the nearest Al-Anon meeting is, then questioning whether I'm being overly dramatic and worrying about something that isn't a problem.
My husband is a fantastic, great guy. A great guy who really loves beer. And wine. And sometimes rum. Over the years he has cut back in volume from his wild twenties drinking, but it seems to have settled into a reliable pattern of drinking every.single.day. He goes to work, fulfills dad duties, and is financially responsible, but I worry that he's basically a functioning alcoholic, and I read threads like this one
and wonder if I am doing a disservice to our son by ignoring the issue. I also worry about the long-term health implications of this, but he had a reportedly clean bill of health from his last check up. We are in our mid-30s, so I suppose there's plenty of time for the health issues to catch up.
Most nights he doesn't get to the point of being drunk, but on weekends/special occasions he definitely gets to that point. His work schedule changed recently and now that he has an extra day off his new day-off-afternoon activity is to head to the bar at lunchtime and remain there drinking the rest of the afternoon. He is noticeably impaired by the time we pick up our son from daycare together, to the point where it's embarrassing me to have him with me, but I have talked about my embarrassment with him and he's offended by it. We discuss his drinking every six months or so when he has a particularly heavy night or gets uncharacteristically mean. It doesn't really result in anything changing much, though usually by the time I work myself up to discuss he has slid to a point where he admits that he's been drinking a bit too much and will scale back the volume for a while. The longest I've ever seen him go without drinking is two days in a row, for the past ten years. We've talked about his needs for time/space to pursue hobbies, and I think I've been as accommodating as humanly possible for that, and I've told him repeatedly that I would support him taking some time to do whatever floats his boat if he found a new hobby or non-drinky social group activity (we have tons of friends and plenty of socializing outlets but our friends activities tend to revolve around booze, which I have zero problem with, I enjoy a few drinks now and then, too, it's just that having a kid dramatically changed my relationship with booze for myself). He has a new social group activity.... but it's trivia night at the bar.
So, MeFi, my question is- can someone drink every day without being an alcoholic? Is running to Al-Anon overly dramatic in this situation? Is drinking just a hobby for some people and not that big a deal?