Give a kind bit of advice to a young lady adrift in the sea of life.
December 26, 2013 7:22 AM Subscribe
My brain is swirling with options and I just need kind advice. I have no shoulder on which I may settle my weight for a moment's rest. I beg your listening ear!Should I sit tight and save or make a move to take pressure off my vehicle? It needs to last me a few years.... How can I escape the white trash wastes I have been condemned to?
posted by Driven to Work & Money (34 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
Help me figure out what I should do.
I am currently living at home with my parents. I work two jobs. My full time job is as a legal assistant at a law firm in a town 47 miles away and it takes me roughly 45 minutes to get there. I make 28k and have health insurance and dental/vision. My second job is as a part-time domestic violence counselor. I work weekends primarily, but have started working more nights during the weeks as well. I make about $10 an hour there and it is about 18 miles away from home and a 20 minute drive. Last February I had to replace my car. It now has 53k miles on it and I bought it with 30k on it. I have a small loan with a payment of a little over $100 a month, but I’ve been paying ahead. I have about $5k left on it.
I don’t go out hardly at all. I go to work and I go home. I recently signed up for a fitness club membership for $25 a month, it was a deal through my insurance. I have a $750 car insurance payment every 6 months, a yearly life insurance payment of $350, $50 payment on a phone bill every month and then of course cost of gas and upkeep on my vehicle. I’ve been putting away a little over half of my income every month into an online savings account. I was taking a class to finish my degree (paid for on my own from day one. I have 3 classes to go but can’t seem to finish. Considering taking out a small loan to pay for those and get the damn BA but that’s another story.) so some money went to paying tuition. I also buy groceries and such at home instead of paying rent, but not on any sort of schedule. Just sort of do what needs to be done as it needs to be done. I’ve got 6k to my name in checking/savings accounts at the moment.
Here’s the kicker. I am miserable for the most part. I have always had very high standards for myself and been an over-achiever. I am highly curious, a quick learner, and a hard worker. I have killed myself the last seven years working and trying to go to school. I have been on antidepressants since I was a sophomore in high school. I won tons of scholarships and awards at one time, but the continued pressure and the cutting, hostile environment at home has worn me down. I want to move on and actually have a life instead of being controlled and obligated by family pressures. I want to be proud of my achievements again, instead of hiding. I want out.
But is now the time or should I still wait? I told myself when I got this job eight months ago that I would stay until I had 10k saved. That way I would have enough of a buffer that I could get out. I don’t really like my full time job. I don’t like the town and it is fairly apparent to me that there is no opportunity for growth. The only reason I took the job is because my father gave me an ultimatum while I was working two part time jobs and going to school full time that if didn’t have a full time job within two months I would be kicked out. The town where I work full time is also where a lot of my mother’s family lives and they have increasingly brought drama and strife into life. I try and avoid them as much as possible.
My car is putting on increasing mileage and I’ve not even paid it off yet. I’ve considered getting a cheap apartment to live in the town where my full time job is to cut down on wear and tear to my vehicle. I could probably find something for $400/mo. But then again the hassle and addition of other costs would put a damper on my savings and I would still live like a hermit just so I could keep saving at the same level. Plus it would make me a prime target for the succubi of my mother’s family. I think what puts me most off this idea is further delaying being able to escape the trap my life seems to have become.
What should I do? Should I continue on my plan to save 10k and then try and get out? Should I move to the town where my full time job is? Should I stay put and take out a small loan to try and finish the last bit of my degree? Should I pay off my car first? My head is swirling and after the utter debacle of Christmas yesterday I just need a sounding board. I'm so tired. Mefites please assist!