How can I try to approach this (battered) woman?
December 21, 2013 10:15 PM Subscribe
Yesterday I came back for holidays to the small town where I grew up. At my sister's home, she introduced me to a nice young woman (let's call her Mary) who lives next door from my sister. From my weekly phone calls to my sister, I knew that Mary and my sister had become quite close over the last couple of months. Mary seems to be a helpful and considerate person. On meeting personally yesterday, I found her attractive too. I knew she was living with the father of her two young children, so I had ruled out any attempts to get to know her. However, last night during dinner with my family, I learned from my sister and mother that a couple of weeks ago Mary had had her partner arrested on charges of domestic violence. I also learned that there was a history of incidents of spousal violence involving the couple, and that the man had since his release from prison been living in a different flat next to Mary and their children. According to my sister, Mary is planning to terminate the relationship soon.
posted by kayrosianian to Human Relations (49 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
I live in a large town, some 300 miles from Mary. I thought that she might conceivably be willing to explore the possibility of starting a new life with her children and maybe a new, more stable, supportive and decent partner in a more interesting city. She is currently limited to being a housewife, and not a very happy one from what I gather.
So the bottom line is that I would like to get to know her better, but I'm aware of the delicate nature of the situation. Any ideas on how to approach the topic relatively safely and tactfully? What possibilities and risks can you imagine stemming from moving ahead with the lets-get-to-know thing?