How to find an ovum donor in twenty years?
December 21, 2013 5:43 PM Subscribe
My wife and I will soon use an egg donor to try to conceive. It's important to us that our future child be able to contact the egg donor if the child so desires and it's in his or her best interest. The egg donor is open to this. Until there is a need for contact (either for the aforementioned reason or because of a medical issue), she prefers not to be contacted (nor are we eager to initiate contact until such time). How can we maximize our chances of being able to reach her in the future? It could well be over a decade before such contact is initiated. Phone numbers and email addresses are not that long-lived.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (19 answers total)
She's agreed to provide her name, birth date, phone number, and email address. I'm worried that this is insufficient. Her name could change, her name + birth date could be very common, her phone number could change, and her email address could change. One idea is for our attorney to keep her SSN in escrow and to add an agreement to the contract that should email and phone fail to reach her then our attorney (or the attorney's successor) can use the SSN to find her contact info without revealing the SSN to us. We don't know if she would agree to this clause, so we're trying to come up with other ideas as plan B. The agency isn't particularly helpful because they are not accustomed to or proponents of open egg donation, and I wouldn't assume they'll still be in business 15 years from now.
Is there a better way to do this? We assume she wouldn't release her SSN directly to us because she's already refused to release her current address.