Does this relationship worth continuing?
December 20, 2013 12:09 AM Subscribe
I have known this girl for about 8 months. She has put a lot of pressure on me to meet her parents and wants to see my parents as well. In the beginning of our relationship she told me that she was done with dating and the last person she wants to be intimate with should ideally be her husband. She said that she dated two other people in the past and I am the third one. Since she was 30 years old and her number was too low to me, I asked her if she met other people in between her serious relationships and she said yes but she claimed she was not intimate with them. Anyways I did not care about her number as long as she was honest with me.
posted by mbn1455 to Human Relations (41 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
One month into our relationship we went to a party where I met this guy who acted kind of weird in front of my girl friend. I suspected that there was something between them and I asked my girl friend about 10 times in a matter of three months. She denied having anything with that guy and said that they were only co workers and hanged out a long time ago. Needless to say I saw text messages between my girl friend and her best friend about her having sex with that guy 3 years ago. Apparently at that time he was her boss at the company she was working but he had another girl friend that my current girl friend did not know about and they broke up eventually. I confronted my girl friend but she did not admit to it till I told her that I will leave if she does not come clean about it (didn’t say I looked at her text messages) she confessed that she lied and promised to be truthful from then on.
Another incident happened 5 months into our relationship. I noticed that she was still logging into the website through which we met each other. Immediately after we met I closed my account but she claimed she was not sure how to do it. I did not care but got a little suspicious and checked her out for 3 months and she kept logging average of couple of times per week. I confronted her but she said she did not mean to use it to check out other people. She said she treated it as a regular email and just was curious about messages that other guys sent her. I believed her and let it go.
Last incident which was really painful to me was the pictures I found in her cell phone. After the second incident I really thought that I need to be very careful before making any decision so I thought it is ok to check her cell phone once. In the iphone photo stream I found pictures of her and her ex having sex different positions. This was the ex that in the beginning she was asking my permission to be in touch with. She believed it was ok to be in touch with an ex. obviously I was destroyed seeing those pictures and I confronted her. She said she was sorry that I saw those pictures but mentioned that she did not know about photo steam at all and she deleted her camera role from all her ex pictures. I even saw that she sexted her ex those pics as a form of teasing.
Now I feel like a loser. I feel those guys got all the non string attached sex they wanted and I am the nice guy who eventually wants to marry after all that steamy sex she had with other people in the past. I compared the text messages she sent to her ex with the ones she send to me and it pisses me off even more. From those text messages it seems that her ex did not give a damn about her and yet she used to send all those sexual images and the texts were mostly about having fun and sex and…
On the other hand the texts with me are baby pictures and arguments about why I am not ready to meet her parents. Recently she stopped taking BC pills (after 4 years) because she says it causes hair loss. Since she hates protected sex I am sure she will force me to have unprotected sex with her soon.
Just wondering what you guys think about this relationship? Am I being too sensitive or are these huge red flags I should not ignore? I am 35 years old and she is 30 years old and we have been dating for 8 months.