My shoulders are up here
December 15, 2013 7:41 PM Subscribe
My manager put his hands on me in a way that felt strangely intimate. Should I be concerned, or am I reading too much into this?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (44 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
My manager is male, I'm female. This took place at work with other people around. We were both standing and my manager was behind me. He wanted me to move up a bit. Instead of asking me to step closer, or touching my shoulder or back to prompt me to move, he held my upper arm with one hand and and my waist with the other hand, and walked me forward a few steps. It wasn’t like a quick nudge or shove. He had a firm but gentle grip on me that felt strangely intimate in a work setting.
He is not a touchy feely person at all. Since we shook hands at my job interview, there has been zero physical contact, no high fives, no pats on the shoulder, nothing. In the past he has gone out of his way to avoid situations where an accidental touch could happen, which is why I don't know what to make of this.
It's not that I disliked it, and I would have been comfortable telling him to cut it out if it bothered me. It's just that I don't know how to read it, and it's making me nervous about how I should interact with him now. Lately we’ve been spending more time together and I started to feel a different sort of vibe between us. I can’t really explain it as much more than a gut feeling. I do think he’s attractive but for personal and professional reasons that are obvious to both of us, there’s no going down that route.
My questions: Am I right to think that this was not a normal way for someone to touch a colleague? Or more specifically, for a superior to touch their employee? Could it be a sign that he has more than just platonic feelings? If so, what do I do? Or am I reading too much into it?