Are women supposed to bring up the commitment talk?
December 13, 2013 11:41 PM Subscribe
I've been "seeing" someone for three weeks now, and he seems interested... I think... but hasn't mentioned anything regarding a relationship or exclusivity yet. Should I bring it up or wait it out?
posted by Autumn to Human Relations (26 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
We're in our twenties. He seems interested enough; plans the next date at the end of the last, talks about things he'd like to do together waaay in the future (read: winter break, summer), and tends to want me to stay for multiple days at a time when I'm there, which I've only done once so far.
We haven't slept together yet (he's tried but I'm not ready yet) but have made out and cuddled. This weekend will make date six. The things that make me think he's *not* that into me is he rarely texts me inbetween dates unless it's to confirm plans, and when I'm with him in person I don't speak very much due to nerves. So how can he know me enough to be into me?
The dating self-help books for women I've read say *never* to bring up commitment first because it doesn't allow him to chase/makes you seem too eager/whatever. I'm usually straightforward about these things, but due to the guy seeming to lose interest 100% of the time I talk about things getting serious I haven't said a word about it to this one.
I have, however, complained about the ambiguity to two of my guy friends who feel it's time I talk to him about it. But I don't *really* want to, because I don't want the fun times/hopefulness to end. Also, it seems awkward... I show up to spend the entire day with him, ping him about commitment and if he's not interested I just... drive back home?
But... it is eating at me, so does that mean it's time to say something? What's the verdict here?