Mama I do it! Mama you do it!
December 13, 2013 10:35 AM Subscribe
I have a 2 year old (26 months to be very precise). We have entered the phase of "I do it!", which is okay in and of itself, but a pattern is starting to appear.
He wants to, say, put on his coat himself. Great! Usually one of 2 things happens: he puts it on himself (about 10% of the time), or as soon as I hand him the coat he insists that I do it. So I start to do it, but I get a tearful "MAMA I DO IT!" He creates an impasse where I can't help him but he refuses to do what he says he wants to do.
posted by DrGirlfriend to Human Relations (29 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
A common piece of advice that I've read/heard is that presenting 2 choices works well at this stage because it gives them a semblance of control. Any choice I present ends up in this kind of impasse. If I offer him a banana or an apple, he will say apple. As I reach for the apple: "banana, mama, banana!" Fantastic here's a bana..."AAAAAAAAPLE!!"
So in short, the usual advise for handling toddlers is not working with my particular one. In all I've read I can't really find examples of how to handle this particular scenario. I've tried redirection, with limited success. I've tried time outs, which do seem to work in the short term but are doing nothing for the long term. I've tried talking to him at eye level, but he's really in no mood for that.
He's generally a very loving, active, agreeable little guy. He has a great vocabulary and we can usually get him to use his words and talk to us in other circumstances, but in this particular scenario he gets stuck in a loop of his own making and I'm not sure how to a) stop it in the moment, and b) guide him away from it entirely (if that's even possible at this stage).
Books? Articles? Real life advice? Thanks!