Help me cure lesbian bed-death!
October 11, 2005 3:53 PM Subscribe
Help me cure lesbian bed-death. Lesbians and non-lesbians alike are welcome to reply.
It's a not-so-funny joke in the gay community that a few months into a serious relationship. lesbians stop having sex. My partner and I have been together for six years now, and, although we talk about sex (especially how much we miss it!) we don't have sex. Maybe once a month, possibly less often than that.
posted by anonymous to human relations (13 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
We are young (20's) and although we have both struggled with weight and body issues we are currently getting fit and feeling awesome about our bodies. We used to think that it was that we felt fat and not at all sexy, but with the fat part disappearing, we still don't feel sexy.
Last year we had a threesome, with a man. For my partner it confirmed that she was definitely a lesbian. For me it was like having a hands-free dildo. Neither of us got our rocks off that night, but for a couple of weeks afterward we had the best sex of our lives. This, however, is not a solution to the problem. I don't want to have to bring another person into the relationship periodically just so that the two of us can have good sex later.
Other than that experience, we are each other's only sexual partner. We were each other's first. We are open and experimentative, we talk about everything, and we are open to trying just about anything - that is, if we haven't already. When we do have sex it is very enjoyable, but for the most part (and we have discussed this) we would both rather, ahem, take care of it ourselves.
So my question is: how can we get interested in sex again? How can we get interested in each other? We cuddle, we chat, we do all those love-dovey things every single day (what can I say, we are affectionate), we just don't have sex. And yes, it is a problem, because we both miss it very much.