How can I build more physical strength for myself?

November 11, 2013 2:12 PM

My story is thus: between the ages of 14 to 21 my parents starved me very badly as a form of physical abuse. I became very weak as a result, always puking and my hair fell out. No one believed me so I was referred to a psychiatric ward where I was pronounced mentally ill. That all happened a long time ago but I am still finding it very hard to build basic strength and would appreciate some help from a trainer or anyone with fitness experience about very gentle and easy exercises to help build real strength and get my body moving. I've tried googling but a lot of the exercises are just way too heavy for me and I would try the gym but I would end up nearly passing out after 20 minutes. Cooking is a hobby of mine, I'm not an expert but enjoy making my own meals and avoid preprocessed foods and takeaways, so my diet is pretty good. Unfortunately I am too weak to eat 2000 calories per day, I will pass out before I can eat that amount. Please help because this is really affecting my life
posted by inaisa to Health & Fitness (17 answers total)

Best answer: Just start slow! Figure out a few small things to do--say, walking, sit-ups, some simple exercises with light hand-weights. Start a spreadsheet to track them. Start with just walking around the block, doing 5 sit-ups, whatever. Do that daily for a bit, then ramp up slowly by walking further, adding repetitions, etc. I had to do this once after an extended illness and it felt very silly to be starting that small but it worked. If you can, though, talk to a doctor about this, this may be the sort of thing where a physical therapist could be useful, and if you actually need to be gaining weight (and not just getting stronger) then a physician-supervised plan might be way easier than trying to figure it out on your own.
posted by Sequence at 2:27 PM on November 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

Have you considered yoga? It's incremental and builds strength.
posted by DarlingBri at 2:29 PM on November 11, 2013 [2 favorites]

Best answer: First of all - I am so sorry for what you've been through.

Secondly - although I don't have the same childhood experiences as you, I have some medical conditions that make it difficult to do heavy exercise, especially core work. So I would suggest restorative yoga (also called yin yoga). I find even regular yoga to be too much for my abdominal muscles, but restorative yoga is great to slowly build up strength and flexibility.
posted by chainsofreedom at 2:31 PM on November 11, 2013 [3 favorites]

Best answer: Many Pilates trainers are trained to work with people with injuries or disabilities. I would suggest if you look for a Pilates class or private session, speak clearly to them ahead of time about your constraints.
posted by matildaben at 2:37 PM on November 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

Unfortunately I am too weak to eat 2000 calories per day, I will pass out before I can eat that amount.

I'm very sorry you're going through this; it sounds terrible. Based on the beginning of your question, I think you probably already know that this "weak" feeling is not really a matter of being too physically exhausted to eat, but rather a problem with your relationship with food, connected to your childhood abuse. I think you really need to address the underlying eating disorder before you work on exercise at all. If you're running a permanent calorie deficit — effectively, starving yourself — it's not surprising that you feel like you're going to pass out a lot. Find help for that first. You can't get stronger without eating.
posted by RogerB at 2:47 PM on November 11, 2013 [19 favorites]

Unfortunately I am too weak to eat 2000 calories per day, I will pass out before I can eat that amount.

If this is literally true, then you are still severely undernourished. You don't mention your approximate age, beyond it all taking place "a long time ago." Has your recovery begun only in the last few years? If you are still malnourished and still have very low endurance, then it's an overall health issue more than a fitness issue. Talk to your doctor, if you're in touch with one. A physical therapist can help you recover strength in a safe, healthy, and controlled manner. A clinical dietitian will help you develop a realistic diet aimed at helping you recover your well-being. It's easily possible that you don't have a very good intuition about what a sufficient and healthy diet looks like.
posted by Nomyte at 2:51 PM on November 11, 2013 [8 favorites]

I'm sorry, I just saw that in a previous question you said you were in the UK. Try Beat's HelpFinder.
posted by RogerB at 3:01 PM on November 11, 2013

In addition to therapy as suggested by previous commenters, I would also suggest making an appointment with your doctor and/or a nutritionist.
posted by tckma at 3:06 PM on November 11, 2013 [3 favorites]

Are you seeing a psychotherapist, and probably also a nutritionist/doctor? It is admirable that you are working to be more present in your body and to become more physically well and strong. I would recommend that you get physically checked out to make sure that your diet/exercise changes are okay and not physically dangerous in anyway. Your body has become adjusted to eating little and not doing much physically. Any changes will have to happen slowly, and would best be done under some medical supervision. I also feel that it is critical to get some kind of emotional support in this process. As you become more present to your body, probably a lot of trauma and overwhelming emotional feelings (terror/shame/despair/rage/hatred) will come up. It's just the way that this stuff goes, dissociating/numbing to trauma to survive abusive circumstances as a kid means that you will eventually have to feel it as an adult, and it will really, really suck for awhile. That's normal. But in the end that is the way to heal and to become more present and alive, as I think you intuitively know. I expect that as you embark on this process a lot will come up for you and it would be best if there was some kind of therapeutic support in place, ideally with a therapist who specializes in childhood traumas, and maybe some kind of somatic specialty/approach to treating trauma. I wish you the best of luck, and to let you know that you are not alone and that many have to reckon with and overcome the pain of an abusive childhood. Here is an article that might be interesting on a case example of how childhood trauma can be somatically held or stuck.
posted by amileighs at 4:18 PM on November 11, 2013 [2 favorites]

Best answer: Swimming! It is very easy on joints and welcoming to all sizes and shapes and builds strength, stamina and flexibility. If you can't swim, water aerobics classes are a big friendly way to get in the water and exercise safely. They tend to be a really diverse group of body types and fitness - older people, sporty people doing rehab work. That way you have the benefit of a trainer who can help you adjust the exercises to your strength, and a friendly group which helps you get motivated to keep going out and exercising a little bit at a time. A local swimming pool will have some kind of class going, or you can try a YMCA or whatever your local equivalence is. Lots and lots of people learn to swim as adults and swim instructors will help without making you feel judged or rushed. If you're body-conscious, you can get full length body suits that are comfortable

A nutritionist appointment is a great idea if you can get a good one through a doctor or health service, not someone who will sell you a bunch of supplements. Do you snack on high-calorie food like avocados and nuts? Whole milk is also a good way to add calories without feeling full too fast.

High calorie toddler recipes are a really nice way of getting more calories in comfort foods, snack sized and healthy. It might be nice to give yourself the little kid treats you missed out on and absolutely deserve.
posted by viggorlijah at 5:02 PM on November 11, 2013 [5 favorites]

Best answer: Also, when I was in a similar situation of trying to eat more calories after an illness, and also trying to recover strength, I found the key to be smoothies. Drink one of those protein powder fruit and yogurt smoothies, THEN go do yoga. Rather than trying to chew up and eat tons of food and then go lift weights.

Once you have the restorative yoga and smoothies routine down, you can "graduate" to a more strenuous yoga (I would suggest hatha yoga, especially a practice termed "gentle"), and then maybe something like Pilates.
posted by chainsofreedom at 5:16 PM on November 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Get you a copy of Convict Conditioning. How to go from "You just got out of that infirmary" to "1-arm push ups & chin-ups" by taking baby steps up the mountain.

Getting strong moving your own body feels really great, and the author makes a good argument why it's better for your joint strength & range of motion than traditional bar-&-bench weightlifting.

Best of luck!
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 7:28 PM on November 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Heh — PBZM beat me to the Convict Conditioning recommendation.

The first-level exercise for each of the 6 exercises in the book is really gentle. For pushups, the first level is standing wall pushups, for example. For pullups, the first-level is basically the same thing only standing sideways in a doorway — hold onto the doorframe with your fingertips and lean backwards while holding your spine straight, then use your arms to pull yourself back upright towards the doorframe.

IMO, being unable to get 2,000 calories down may or may not have anything to do with your emotional or psychological health. Despite having had a perfectly healthy relationship with food all my life, I've never been a big eater and I'm not a big eater now. You may just tend that way. (Which is not to suggest that therapy wouldn't be helpful — just that eating lightly may or may not be a natural and healthy place for you to be.)

Good luck!
posted by Lexica at 7:59 PM on November 11, 2013

If you can't find restorative/yin yoga, maybe look for a yoga class geared toward seniors or pregnant ladies? Good luck!
posted by jrobin276 at 12:16 AM on November 12, 2013

Best answer: When my son was a toddler, he was diagnosed with failure to thrive and sent to a nutritionist because he was so underweight. She recommended making him smoothies using the following recipe: full fat ice cream, peanut butter, chocolate syrup, 1/2 and 1/2 or whole milk. This is an incredibly calorie-dense food. Maybe drinking such a smoothie at breakfast or as a mid-afternoon snack would help you get more calories in.
Try to focus on calorie-rich but nutrient-dense foods like nuts, oils, avocados. Make sure you eat a relatively high-protien, calcium, and veggie/fruit diet -- your body needs the nutrition. Put a little pat of butter on everything. :-)

Try to find some very light weights (just 1 lb or less to start with). Use those to do some strength building exercises. Do only 1-2 a day - spread out a day's worth of workouts over a week. Take a day off between. Very slowly increase the amount of reps. Workout no more than 10-15 minutes to start with.
Something like this is a basic program:
http://weighttraining.about.com/od/weighttrainingbasics/a/dumbbells.htm


For cardio, just take a walk. Or bike around the block. Do just enough to feel a little tired but not enough to exhaust. Keep a diary and every week add a little more. It may be just going one house further on your walk and then turning back... the key is to build up slowly.
posted by LittleMy at 4:48 AM on November 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

Honestly after reading your history I don't think building muscle is something you should attempt to do without the help of a professional. I would try to set up an appointment with a a nutritionist and see if they can work with you. They should also try to recommend a therapist to help you with your psychological relationship with food.
posted by manderin at 5:07 AM on November 12, 2013

Response by poster: Thanks for everyones tips. The record/diary idea is good. Never looked into yoga or pilates and I might give it a try. Convict Conditioning looks like a good resource. Tried swimming for a while and really need to get into a group because I can't last more than 20 minutes, which sucks because I used to swim for hours as a kid.

>are you getting enough protein and/or fat
Yeah, I eat plenty of fresh meat, diary and vegetables, and my diet is very protein heavy, when I do eat that is. Speaking of tomatos and beef, I've been making my own burgers recently. Something you can do to chicken, beef or any raw meat is to cover it with flour, add an egg and diced vegetables, and leave it to bake, which helps you get more nutrients as well as the tasty meat. Or I'll make a huge cheese pizza from raw ingredients and add loads of mayo. Processed food isn't always that bad, and it's all around us so you can't escape it. I take multi vitamins too, just generic ones.

> I think you probably already know that this "weak" feeling is not really a matter of being too physically exhausted to eat, but rather a problem with your relationship with food
To be honest, I've become too comfortable with being written off as crazy, and it's part of my resolution to make that change. There's no way that therapy can help when I turn up to a CBT group when everything is spinning and being told my feelings are wrong, and that I need drugs and conditioning to stop feeling the wrong feelings, and that I start feeling the correct feelings like a good boy. The way things are going, I'm always going to get treated as someone with a mental disorder, and that's not a future I want.
posted by inaisa at 12:50 PM on November 12, 2013