Keep me out of the doghouse!

October 7, 2005 6:24 AM

What is a good birthday gift to get my wife? As usual I've only got 6 days left. I'm starting to sweat.

She's going to be 36, we have a 2.5 year old and a 3 month old baby, she's been working part time and is exhausted most days so I'd really like to get her something special. Any women out there is the same situation get an excellent gift lately? She's not crazy about spas and hasn't quite gotten her figure back so clothing would probably depress her. Her hobbies are reading and cooking but I think I've exhausted the book/cookbook gift in recent years. The truth is that I've never been a great gift giver when it comes to her because she doesn't give too many hints. I also promised her that I'd make a half brownie/ half chocolate cookie cake. Anyone every make one? I just thought it up one day and she loved the idea. I'm not sure it's possible due to the different cooking times.

posted by any major dude to human relations (20 comments total)

One gift giving source that never lets me down is to go to the nearest large art gallery or museum and go to the jewellery case of the museum shop. You can usually find some very nice things at a relatively good price - and often they have earrings or necklaces related to one of the big touring shows. Sometimes these things are a little tacky - but I find that to be less true there than among the stock of most jewellery stores.

It strikes me that something very adult - not related at all to childrearing or the household in general is probably just the ticket for a mother of young kids.

Speaking of spas, if you're very sure she's not going to take it the wrong way ("shape up, babe") give her a gift certificate for a spa day or half day.

On the food and cookbook side of things, if you've mostly exhausted that avenue there is still a choice: Harold McGee's On Food and Cooking.
posted by mikel at 6:34 AM on October 7, 2005

Make one layer the brownie and the other layer the chocolate cake, then the difference in cooking times won't matter - just assemble it when each layer is done baking. Sounds orgasmic!

Has she read the book Under the Tuscan Sun? It's a wonderful read, and really appeals to someone who cooks. I'll bet she'd really enjoy it. It's not a cookbook; it's a novel.

Cooking classes are a nice gift (as long as it's not taken the wrong way!). So are gift certificates for things like back rubs, kid-free time, etc. If she likes music, maybe some nice music to cook along to.
posted by iconomy at 6:36 AM on October 7, 2005

My husband has a great gift-giving system: Think about a way in which the person's life could be improved, made easier or more fun (even if only briefly) and purchase gift accordingly. Works especially well with purchase of services rather than objects.
posted by scratch at 6:40 AM on October 7, 2005

great idea iconomy. How about making 2 very thin layers of each then stack them with layers of ice cream in between? Think that will work?
posted by any major dude at 6:53 AM on October 7, 2005

That would be amazing and orgasmic and heavenly! Especially with a really good coffee ice cream....swoon. Ice cream cakes are so easy to make. Obviously, just make sure the cake layers are really cooled down first. When I make ice cream cake, I put the layers in the freezer for about half an hour before I assemble it. It really helps the ice cream to adhere.

If you finish with a layer of ice cream on top (like a frosting), you can put chocolate shavings crushed chocolate chips or crumbled oreos or something on that. You could call it Any Major Dude's Slow Death By Chocolate ;)
posted by iconomy at 7:01 AM on October 7, 2005

I expect that the mother of 2 small children could use a little grown-up time. Perhaps you could pre-arrange childcare for an upcoming weekend (find the sitter, confirm the date and time yourself) and make plans to take your wife out to a local winery, a museum, a couples cooking class -- something nice for the two of you to do together that she'd enjoy. Or, perhaps she has a close friend nearby with whom you could conspire; you take care of the kids and foot the bill for your wife and her best friend to go out and do something fun for a change.
posted by junkbox at 7:04 AM on October 7, 2005

Small, utilitarian, very nice, but plain gold stud earrings.
posted by Pollomacho at 7:12 AM on October 7, 2005

My dream birthday present would be a regular cleaning service - not every week, but someone who would come in once a month and do all the things my hubbie and I never get to(because we're mostly lazy). Having that happen for even a few months would make me so happy - and I imagine your wife would really appreciate it too, especially with 2 little ones.

When all else fails, go for jewelry. Find a goldsmith, get something original - it will be cheaper than you think. Or look for estate jewelry - a vintage ring is always good. I'm not really a girly-girl, but the fact that my significant other has gone out and found something so out of his purvue is endearing, and makes me feel extra special.

Either way, the fact that you are obviously concerned about celebrating your wife and letting her know that she is valued is a fantastic thing - a birthday present in and of itself!
posted by dirtmonster at 7:17 AM on October 7, 2005

Ok, I just spoke to my wife and we were discussing a documentary we watch last night called Mondovino and missing the point of the movie entirely she tells me that she now wants to try some Robert Mondavi wine. Anyone know a good bottle under $50 that you've tried?
posted by any major dude at 7:39 AM on October 7, 2005

Some of Mondavi's stuff is very cheap. I like the Private Selection Johannesburg Riesling myself ~$12 a bottle. Very good if your wife enjoys sweet wines.
posted by junkbox at 8:11 AM on October 7, 2005

Similar to what junkbox said...

I made sure our three kids were handled and took my wife to a very nice hotel that had private cottages all around the grounds with a big common area containg a huge fire place. We ate at the on site four star restaurant the night before and had breakfast their the next day, after SLEEPING IN.

I'm sure she'd appreciate the time away and you could also present her with a "little" gift at dinner & breakfast.

Best of luck...
posted by UncleHornHead at 8:12 AM on October 7, 2005

Six days? Pshaw. You'd be way ahead of the game at my house.

I second the spa, hotel, and housecleaning ideas. Even if she's not very girly-girl, a massage rarely goes unappreciated. Along the same lines, for a little less expensive option, if you've got a Bath Junkie nearby, that's a lot of fun. You can go and buy her empty bottles, which she can then go fill with lotion, body oil, bath stuff, etc., that she can customize with scent and color. I have a grapefruit-rain-fizzysoda combination that makes me ridiculously happy whenever I get in the shower. I would not recommend getting her ready-made bath and body stuff, since it's pretty generic and impersonal. Otherwise, do something off-the-wall. . .trip to racecar driving school or something.

If you're going to do the wine, this sauvignon is really, really nice, and in a good price range -- pricey enough to be a gift, cheap enough to drink.

Good luck!
posted by LittleMissCranky at 8:56 AM on October 7, 2005

I would be cautious about spas etc in that you want to make the gift -relaxing-. I have heard friends say that while they enjoyed X, the process of getting everything else set up so they could piss off to do that thing for a few hours was way more stressful than their daily life.

So perhaps the gift should include precise details about how you've arranged this sitter at this time and are taking care of this thing and that thing so at 4pm on XX they can just walk out the door and go enjoy it.
posted by phearlez at 9:04 AM on October 7, 2005

When in doubt, jewellry. If the baby was born in August, their birthstone is Peridot, which is really pretty. maybe a pendant of peridot? If you are a family of 3, this neckace is a row of three diamonds, with the main stone peridot, in case you want some number symbolism. This is another pretty Peridot set. To check the baby's birthstone, here is a good link. A history of Peridot is here.

If your budget is a little higher, rings with secret messages are cool. Just make sure to avoid the tacky, and find something that she would consider tasteful and would wear. When in doubt, simple stone pendants are good.

I think jewelry after life changing events is a nice touch, and is romantic, especially if the jewelry encorporates some symbolism of your now changed family.
posted by sperare at 9:18 AM on October 7, 2005

Three words: Hitachi Magic Wand
posted by bondcliff at 9:24 AM on October 7, 2005

Echoing dirtmonster on the cleaning service idea. Also, for some attractive jewelry and other tangible gift ideas, Red Envelope.
posted by justonegirl at 9:40 AM on October 7, 2005

Jewelry. I'm a chick and I always love to get it. Ditto for my mom, mother-in-law and sisters. I don't know your wife's style or your budget but here's a wide array of suggestions for ye:

Pagliei Collection

Ananda Khalsa

Small Things Jewelry

Melissa Joy Manning (Online sales are handled through Neiman Marcus.)

Happy Owl Glassworks

Pieces of a Girl

Zealandia Designs (You have to Google to find online sellers for these designs; I've ordered her pieces in the past this way with no problems.)

Alexis Bittar

Day Lab

Isabel Feng (eBay seller with nice, well made stuff)

Since you're less than a week away and some of these stores are small shops, you'll probably want to get on the horn and speak with them directly to ensure your stuff would get delivered in time.

Another thought is a scarf. If you live near a Nordstrom, they always have a nice selection.

Since you mentioned your wife is still battling the pregnancy weight getting her jewelry or accessories that make her feel beautiful would be a nice touch, I think.

Incidentally--and it's prolly obvious--I love to buy gifts for people so if you want something more home-related, check out the decor links in my delicious account. I just got my m-i-l this for her birthday and jewelry from this store for my sis.
posted by Sully6 at 10:33 AM on October 7, 2005

babysitter + dinner + hotel

You will quickly go from doghouse to Best Husband Ever.
posted by mkultra at 10:42 AM on October 7, 2005

I agree that an evening or a weekend away sounds like it would be just the ticket. Take her to a show or to a museum, someplace fun and relaxing and not at all demanding.

At least that's what I would want. My fiance typically takes me to a zoo or museum for my birthday because I'm completely juvenile. :)

Honestly, that you care so much to make her happy will probably ensure that no matter what you do, she'll be overjoyed.
posted by tastybrains at 2:36 PM on October 7, 2005

Having two children of my own (and with my wife taking on the greater share of childrearing duties) I've found one of the most important things you can do together is have some adult time. A romantic dinner (with that good wine) would be great.

You didn't mention your budget but an iPod nano would be nice (filled with her favorite music).

Sorry about this self-link (I tried to find your email address, any major dude, to send it to your privately but there aren't any contacts in your profile): last Xmas I wrote a gift giving guide on how to become a good gift giver. It may not help you now. But something to think about in the future.
posted by Taken Outtacontext at 9:42 AM on October 8, 2005