what do i choose for a gift from my crush that hasn't been given before?

November 5, 2013 7:21 PM

Hi, So I really like this guy. We have been flirting for a while but we haven't kissed or even dated. Recently we had this conversation and for some reason he says that he will get me anything for $50 as long as he hasn't heard of it being given before. He says it should be one thing.

Now I didn't think he was serious but he said he was. If he has heard of it being given, he won't give me the gift.

I have a few options - I can do something really random, like tennis balls. I'm leaning towards an experience that we can share. I also don't want to do something really unoriginal and I want it to be interesting. At the same time I don't want it to be dripping with romance since we haven't really even dated -- like roses would be a little much.

In regards to our shared interests - we both love being outdoors, Asian food, sports. We both have the same sense of humor in that we like things slightly different or out there. We also are both pretty intellectual so a course wouldn't be out there. I keep getting hung up on the "not given before." Thoughts?! The more ideas the better.

posted by pando11 to Human Relations (30 answers total)

A funny or offensive 800 number for one month?
posted by masquesoporfavor at 7:28 PM on November 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: i just thought of wood for a bonfire. thoughts?
posted by pando11 at 7:33 PM on November 5, 2013 [5 favorites]

Something with your name (or other unique phrase) engraved on it.
posted by gnossos at 7:56 PM on November 5, 2013

You have a hard challenge. But I wonder... did he specify that the class of object has never been given before, or the actual object... See what I am getting at here? You could give him anything brand new and that particular object won't have been given before.

See, we don't know his extent of multi-cultural awareness. I certainly have heard of firewood given as a gift - happens all the time in my neck of the woods.

But what I would do, is make him something unique for him. For example, find or borrow an old 8mm film camera, grab some film, shoot a movie about yourself, buy an old 8mm projector on ebay, and give him the projector with the film loaded.

Good luck!
posted by Kerasia at 7:59 PM on November 5, 2013

You could ask for Asian pears. They are not usually given as gifts because in Mandarin, pear ("li2") is a homophone of "leave". Just make sure this guy isn't of sufficiently traditional background that he would interpret your asking for pears as a brush-off.
posted by d. z. wang at 7:59 PM on November 5, 2013

You should simply select an experience that you'd really like to do, but that you didn't want to do alone, without too much concern for whether it's rare or not. Something that costs no more than $50 per person. When you tell him that you want that as a gift, and he hasn't heard of it, then you're good to go (and to invite him to join you, which you'll happily gift to him!) If he says he has heard of that, then you can say "well, I've always wanted to do it, but I didn't want to do it alone, and I hear you've suddenly got an extra $50 burning a hole in your pocket. Care to join me?"
posted by davejay at 8:05 PM on November 5, 2013 [14 favorites]

Ear candling or colonic irrigation can both be found for around $50, the Internet tells me.
posted by Lieber Frau at 8:11 PM on November 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

"Give me the gift of not giving me $50 in cash."
posted by xingcat at 8:13 PM on November 5, 2013 [2 favorites]

What about giving you a feeling? For example, courage. He could buy you tickets to an experience you'd be too scared to go through on your own, and he's giving you the gift of courage by being there and going through it with you.

What about giving you a memory? He could give you a memory by sharing a certain experience with you. You could take pictures, so it'll be "memorialized."

What about giving you luck? You could go to a casino together and you could make him blow on the dice and stuff. Or if that's too much, you could buy lottery tickets or go to an arcade.
posted by rue72 at 8:18 PM on November 5, 2013 [2 favorites]

Tickets for an event that hasn't happened yet? Book that hasn't been released yet?
posted by yohko at 8:18 PM on November 5, 2013 [3 favorites]

Something used? Like from a thrift store? Prom dress possibly ..

Or something personal, like a letter he wrote, a cake he baked.

Or something like "a walk down 2nd avenue after having had a couple of beers on a night when the moon is full, with someone humming a Willie Nelson song"
posted by bunderful at 8:20 PM on November 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

Sounds like he's never given you a date before, ask for that!
posted by animalrainbow at 8:20 PM on November 5, 2013 [24 favorites]

we haven't kissed or even dated. Recently we had this conversation and for some reason he says that he will get me anything for $50

This would make me...uncomfortable. Since you're willing to spend it all on something random like tennis balls, unless you play a lot of tennis I'd ask for a donation to be made in your name to some kind of neutral charity, like the ASPCA. Make it one you've never donated to before to clinch the "unique" requirement.
posted by Room 641-A at 8:29 PM on November 5, 2013 [4 favorites]

Agree with animalrainbow: a dinner date with at [reasonably-priiced restaurant] for the two of you is clearly something that hasn't been given before.
posted by jferg at 8:38 PM on November 5, 2013

An original joke.
posted by rhizome at 8:53 PM on November 5, 2013 [2 favorites]

To honor the essence of the challenge, this is the type of thing I'd put back onto him:

1) Something state of the art, so new it can't have been given before: we're talking he needs to design a small trinket that's about 2 cubic inches and have it 3D printed for you (which tends to cost $25+ per cubic inch), except perhaps newer as that's already a bit old hat. (But if he designs it too, it won't have been given before.)

2) Something utterly odd and fairy-tale-esque in its ridiculousness: You want him to collect a pretty, oval pebble from all the counties in your state and put it in a jar type situation.
posted by vegartanipla at 8:57 PM on November 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

I PERSONALLY would be really turned off by the test-like aspect of this type of question, so would probably ask for 50 dollars to take someone else out for a date. More seriously:

The Carl Brandon Society con-or-bust fundraiser has some really out there auction items, like having someone make you a cake and sing to you while you eat it, or getting an editing session from a famous author for one of your short stories. I would ask for one of those, because even though the auction itself is over for this year, I'm sure they'd still love to get the donation.

Alternatively, many SFF cons have a fancy dinner night, and I would ask for a ticket to one of those.
posted by spunweb at 9:16 PM on November 5, 2013 [6 favorites]

How about a video of him sitting around trying to think of the things you might ask for that he has never heard of as being given as a gift before...
posted by jim in austin at 9:18 PM on November 5, 2013

Response by poster: These are good answers - but some of these are too heavy, like having my name engraved on an object, etc.

ALSO - it's not what he hasn't given me before, it has to be something he hasn't HEARD Of been given before. I.e. dinner date - clearly something he hasn't given me, but he definitely has heard of.

The more ideas the better.
posted by pando11 at 10:15 PM on November 5, 2013

I like your bonfire idea, but what about making it more complex - ask for a marshmallow that has just been roasted over a bonfire - that means he has to build you a bonfire, and you two have to be there together in order for him to roast you a marshmallow. It sounds like a great evening to me!
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 10:26 PM on November 5, 2013 [14 favorites]

Do you drink? If so, here you go, and you get a date out of it too.

Recipe for A Delicious Mystery:

1 1/2 oz. rye whiskey
1/2 lemon
1/2 oz green chartreuse
1/2 oz averna amaro (whatever that is)
3 dashes Peychaud bitters

Served over ice in a rocks glass. It is a tasty, tasty thing.

I know he can't have heard of it before, because a bartender made it up for me at a pretty fancy bar, and I'm the one who named it, and this was last week. I only know what the hell was in it because he wrote it down on a coaster for me. It won't cost any $50, but I'm sure something could be done to make up the rest of it. (I guess you could go to a really fancy place and order several...)
posted by Because at 11:10 PM on November 5, 2013 [6 favorites]

Ask him to give you an hour long cookery lesson or course. Then gift him the same and do it together.
posted by MuffinMan at 1:39 AM on November 6, 2013 [1 favorite]

I've never heard of this given as a gift, so how about a one-hour therapy session? Or $50 towards? Everybody can use an objective ear now and then.
posted by thinkpiece at 4:21 AM on November 6, 2013

As long as he doesn't read metafilter, have you considered a good old banjo?
posted by Nanukthedog at 5:51 AM on November 6, 2013 [7 favorites]

I was given a surprise date to the Bodies Revealed exhibit when it was nearby. Safe bet that he's never heard of that (excellent) gift before.
posted by headnsouth at 6:22 AM on November 6, 2013

I'd give gag gifts like a jar of air from the future.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 9:35 AM on November 6, 2013 [1 favorite]

Tickets for admission to a trampoline park?
posted by *s at 9:54 AM on November 6, 2013

Hmmm. My husband once gave me a handmade canvas bucket* for a Christmas present. I was thrilled, but everyone else seemed to be surprised that a canvas bucket could be desired, let alone be a present. YMMV.

Could you ask for something that doesn't make any noise? That could play into the "hasn't heard (of) it being given before" part of the deal.

* a canvas bucket is perfect for washing boat decks, galvanised buckets being all loud and clanky
posted by pipstar at 12:33 PM on November 6, 2013

Aw man this guy is totally into you! By asking you to choose your own gift, he's trying to see if you are into him too. If not, you would go with some of the suggestions offered here by the people who feel "uncomfortable".

How about a piggy back ride? Up to a nice scenic spot, where you can have a picnic? Don't make it too far, but like a 30 second fun thing that sets the tone of the rest of the day.

Or have him come pick you up on a horse for a ride!

Hire a mariachi band to sing you a song?

Have him make and star in a music video for a song of your choosing.

Might be too cold now but, have him catch and cook a fish for you? Again, the intention would be for you to go on a fishing trip with him, rather than it be delivered to you task completed.

Have him create a portrait/sculpture of you using only materials that can be purchased for a total of $50 from the grocery store. This has to be done in real time, i.e., while you sit for him. If you're a bit sly you can make sure this includes cocktail ingredients, to keep you refreshed while you wait.

*I* would ask for one of those department store portrait packages where we're both wearing terrible sweaters and one person's head is disembodied and floating next to the other person.
posted by danny the boy at 5:33 PM on November 6, 2013

Perhaps if he arranged for a tour through something really random with you, like a local industrial plant or manufacturing facility. Would take more effort than cost.

Things, though... he said thing, might hold you to that. How about pressed seaweed? here's an article about the origins of this practice.
posted by lizbunny at 12:03 PM on November 9, 2013