Leave now and never come back - email edition
October 25, 2013 10:12 AM Subscribe
For some time now, I have been receiving occasional, but unwanted emails from an ex. For the most part, they're completely harmless reports from their life - might as well start with "Dear Diary" - but I'm a little creeped out nonetheless. How should I proceed?
posted by anonymous to human relations (28 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
Their first email came a decade after our very brief, long distance relationship had ended. We exchanged two or three messages, then I began to realize they were hoping for - at the least - a penpal-type situation, when I would have been content to just catch up maybe once a year, if at all. I get easily stressed out by conflict and confrontations, so I just stopped responding (not the nicest course of action, I realize).
Since then, the emails have been coming in a couple of times a year, for the past three years. I never respond. They are harmless "what I've been up to" reports, but there's a touch of neediness and TMI about them. I also find it slightly creepy that they never acknowledge my lack of response at all. I have reason to believe this person is also monitoring my profiles on a couple of social networking sites.
I feel like it's too late to tell them to stop now - surely most people would have gotten the hint by now? On the other hand, I talked about this to a friend and she strongly feels that I am being cruel and should just tell my ex I don't want any further contact.
I feel a weird mix of dread and guilt whenever one of those messages pops up in my inbox. I realize this is a minor problem - I could just filter the mails and never even realize they are there - but I also don't want to (continue to) be unkind. Thank you, hivemind.