An embarrassment of birth control riches.
October 23, 2013 12:44 PM   Subscribe

Thanks to Planned Parenthood, I get free condoms. More condoms that I could ever even dream of using. What do I do with them?

I get free condoms with my birth control. They fuss at Planned Parenthood if I try to decline them. However, I'm not in any kind of relationship, so even if I keep a few "just in case" I still have dozens and dozens of otherwise good condoms collecting dust in my bedroom. If I had any access to a college campus, I'd dump them on a table with a "FREE - HELP YOURSELF" sign and be done with it, but I don't. Is there some place that I can donate them? They are neither expired nor tampered with, or else I wouldn't keep them around, but it seems a shame to just throw them away when maybe they could be of use to people. Multiple google searches have turned up nothing. I would even be willing to mail somewhere them as they are taking up a lot of space now.

Any ideas? Thank you in advance.
posted by koucha to Health & Fitness (28 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
Give them away for Halloween?

If you're going to a party, bring them in a fishbowl and put them on the table with the nibblies.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 12:50 PM on October 23, 2013 [3 favorites]


Can't you just tell the people at Planned Parenthood,

"I already have more than I need, and would like to leave some for others. I will come back and get more if needed."

Unless there's a place convenient where you can leave them, it seems to make more sense to just not take them. They're not going to force you.
posted by bearette at 12:51 PM on October 23, 2013 [14 favorites]


Upon re-reading, I see you are also trying to get rid of the ones you have. Maybe return them to Planned Parenthood then?
posted by bearette at 12:53 PM on October 23, 2013


LGBT Youth Center?
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 12:54 PM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


They fuss at Planned Parenthood if I try to decline them.

Decline them anyway. I suggest returning the ones you have to Planned Parenthood as well. I can't imagine any organization accepting random condoms from a stranger, to distribute to the population they serve. Call me cynical but I can see an anti-[whatever] group poking holes in them or something before handing them out.
posted by headnsouth at 12:55 PM on October 23, 2013 [4 favorites]


They are neither expired nor tampered with

You know that, but no potential recipient will. Would you accept them from a stranger, even one who said, "trust me, these are good"? Keep them until they expire and then throw out what remains.

And please decline them from now on. PP can't make you accept something.
posted by Tanizaki at 12:57 PM on October 23, 2013 [5 favorites]


Decline in the future. They are optional, let them fuss, but it's better than them being wasted.

For now -- No organization is going to want to take your condoms because of the potential risk involved. Even my PP told me that if I returned them, they'd just toss them.
posted by sm1tten at 12:59 PM on October 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


Blow them up like balloons and hang them for Halloween.
posted by Justinian at 1:01 PM on October 23, 2013


There has to be a Halloween costume in here somewhere....
posted by easily confused at 1:01 PM on October 23, 2013 [4 favorites]


Give them to a sexually active friend?
posted by telegraph at 1:02 PM on October 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


Go as the Condom Fairy for Halloween. You can be pretty in a fairy costume, and have a pretty bag from which to hand out the condoms.

Festive and fun!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 1:03 PM on October 23, 2013 [16 favorites]


Next time you go to Planned Parenthood, put a bunch of the condoms you've gotten from them in your purse. When they offer condoms to you, open it up and say nope, I'm all stocked up, thanks!

As for the ones you have now, how far away from expiration are they?
posted by kate blank at 1:04 PM on October 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


Put them on a table at the nearest college?
posted by jenfullmoon at 1:25 PM on October 23, 2013


I bet someone would take them off your hands if you posted them on freecycle, or the free section on Craigslist. Just be upfront that you got them from PP and you have all you need and more, thanks.
posted by vignettist at 1:29 PM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


Give them to people you know? I don't have a lot of money and every time I buy condoms (which is obviously SUPER FREQUENTLY, SO MUCH SEX RIGHT HERE YEAH THIS GUY) it shocks me to remember how much the market wants me to pay to have safe sex. I'd be very glad to take excess condoms from a non-sketchy friend.
posted by threeants at 1:30 PM on October 23, 2013 [5 favorites]


For Halloween a long time ago I went as Little Red Riding Hood and had cookies and condoms in my basket to hand out- and my basket was empty pretty quickly. This probably works if you are in the college age/20s demographic party, and not something I would recommend for the kiddies, hopefully obviously.
posted by zara at 1:44 PM on October 23, 2013


Leave a basketful at a local laundromat with a couple of Safe Sex pamphlets.
posted by maggieb at 1:48 PM on October 23, 2013


If you have a favorite local bar, ask if you can leave them in a bowl there on a table by the door or at the end of the bar. They will be taken.
posted by rmless at 1:53 PM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


Hide them in saucy books in the library or bookstore. Start leaving them with the tip at bars and restaurants. Give them away to trick or treaters. Throw them into the crowd at a concert or sporting event. Go nuts.
posted by K.P. at 2:02 PM on October 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


K.P.: Start leaving them with the tip at bars and restaurants. Give them away to trick or treaters.

Do not do either of those things.
posted by Rock Steady at 2:05 PM on October 23, 2013 [15 favorites]


If there are any sort of sexual health education groups in your area, particularly ones that deal with teens or young adults, contact them to see if they're interested. A group I used to work with accepted all random condom donations, and we tossed them in a big box labeled EXPIRED and used them for demos and workshop art projects.
posted by rhiannonstone at 2:21 PM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


Gas stations.
Inside, at the check-out counter. Drop them there - they'll be gone in a day.
posted by Kruger5 at 2:34 PM on October 23, 2013


Sexual heath educator here. They can be safely used as covers on sex toys. It makes for easier clean up!
posted by kuppajava at 2:50 PM on October 23, 2013 [3 favorites]


LGBT Youth Center?

This is how I know what 10,000 condoms looks like. And also why I was going to suggest giving them to an organisation that does safe sex workshops (which is I think what we did after getting thousands of about-to-expire condoms, after tasting all the different flavours). They likely have condoms coming out of their ears, but a few more never hurt.
posted by hoyland at 3:13 PM on October 23, 2013


Tell the folks at PP, gently but firmly, No, thank you, I don't currently need them, and will come get some if I do need them. I would take them back to PP, and just say I'm too shy to decline them, but have accumulated far too many. They're expensive, and PP is always needing donations.
posted by theora55 at 4:20 PM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


I agree with the idea of being the condom fairy for Halloween. Hella hilarious, and a good way to find people that need them. Tell 'em to take a handful, and mention you get them free at PP.
posted by BlueHorse at 5:27 PM on October 23, 2013


Homeless shelter? I volunteered at one once and learned that they give them out to the guys that stay there. Your shelter may vary, though.
posted by christinetheslp at 6:24 PM on October 23, 2013


Response by poster: For anyone coming in later,

This charity currently accepts male and female condoms no less than 6 months from expiration (among other things) as donations. I'm loading up a box.
posted by koucha at 7:34 PM on October 24, 2013 [2 favorites]


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