I want to date. I'm 21 and the last time I had a boyfriend or a guy I dated for more than 2-3 dates was when I was 16 and totally-in-love-oh-my-god (for a 16 year old, anyway).
I don't mind asking guys out, and I sometimes do online. But no matter what people say, it feels emasculating and guys seem to think I'm desperate... How can I encourage guys to ask me out, as an intense, energetic kind of awkward girl?
Hi. This is going to be an uber self-indulgent question, but as someone that has deeply benefited from this community, I decided to ask anyway.
It's not for a lack of trying. I've been on and off online dating for years. I have gone on tons of dates with guys online, but very rarely do I feel a spark. I also notice that I am not very good at chatting online with guys, trying to get them interested in me. I don't know why, but that's OK! I'm young. I got time. But lately, I've realized that no one at school asks me out. For some time, I overly flattered myself thinking that I'm intimidating - I'm a good student, very outgoing, well-known and have a reputation for being highly outspoken. I felt that maybe some guys don't want to associate with someone so intense, someone that people notice.
But now I think there's something more than that. Tons of girls in my school more popular, attractive and outspoken than me have dates/boyfriends. I don't necessarily want to compare myself, but I don't want to delude myself either.
I am involved in my school--not in clubs/associations, but I'm always around at events due to my job at the school radio station. I'm a smiley kind of girl, always open to conversation. I make eye contact. I dress nicely. I'm nice!!! I know I'm frequently a bit awkward, but is that a reason for NO guys to ever ask me out?
The bar scene doesn't work for me - drinking makes me even more intense and wild, attracting bad guys. I've sat at a million coffee shops, making eye contact with guys - no bueno. I'm at school functions, I am friendly with people at school. Usually though, I'm a lone wolf kind of girl. I like to be on my own, weirdly, even though I am extroverted--I eat lunch by myself, study by myself, do all kinds of things on my own. Shouldn't that make it easy for guys to approach me?
I know I'm worthy of dates, boyfriends, love. I'm a good person. I've done a lot of awesome things in my life! I've travelled a ton (even alone), overcome adversity, learned several languages, read a lot... How can I find guys to have meaningful dates with? How can an intense, extroverted, energetic girl get guys to ask her out?
Where can I go? What kinds of things should I say to hint to guys in various groups in class, maybe at social settings that I'm looking to date? (I've dropped 'I'm Single' hints and it always goes over badly, guys react awkwardly and I feel bad) What places should I avoid? How do I put out this message that "ASK ME OUT! DATE ME! I'M NICE! :)"
Do I tell friends that I'm looking for guys to date? Do I tell them to hook me up with their friends? How lame am I. I just want to makeout with nice boys and get to know them. :( I haven't kissed a dude in manyyyy months!
This is my current dating profile: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/temporaryvisas
I know it's sparse, but that's because I recently was told my profile is way too verbose. Any profile suggestions would be great.
Thanks for forgiving my self-serving and indulgent question choice this week (...again):)