Will I sound insecure if I ask my boyfriend if he likes someone else?
October 16, 2013 6:20 AM Subscribe
Will I sound insecure if I confront my boyfriend about his feelings for another girl?
posted by Lillypad331 to human relations (21 answers total)
Okay, so background on this situation. My boyfriend and I dated close to 4 months and then he broke up with me suddenly. He told me he still had feelings for me, but something felt off. He has never had a long-term relationship, so I just took it to mean that he had commitment issues. I was really hurt, but went no contact and started to move on. 2 months later, he reached back out and confessed that he just panicked and missed me, etc. etc. I believed him and I still cared about him, so I decided to give him a second chance. Especially because he admitted that he took me for granted and he really is a good guy.
Things were great for several months, but now he's falling back in that same old pattern of taking me for granted. We've now been together (this second time) for almost 3 months and he is becoming distant again. Several weeks ago, he met this girl at a work thing. He's brought her up (out of the blue) a couple times now and they keep liking each other's statuses on Facebook (I know, I know- Facebook is stupid and evil).
I guess I can't shake this feeling that he's trying to find reasons to break it off with me again OR I'm just feeling insecure again since we're getting close to the period where he ended it the first time. I DO care about him and we DO have a great connection. I've tried to communicate that I need more and I appreciate his small gestures of affection.
Things I can't get passed though:
He hasn't come close to telling me that he loves me.
He hasn't planned dates in a month- he's never taken me out of town.
His family lives close, but I've only met them once even though he's met mine several times.
I'm never included in his future talk.
We are both in our 30's and he still has 3 male roommates.
I don't want to push him away. I'm not an insecure person, but I do get anxious in relationships so I'm just trying to figure out what steps to take. I'm ready to settle down. I'm ready to find my person.
Sorry for the long drawn-out post. I'm just feeling frustrated about this whole situation. I think I'm trying to hold on to something that's not going to work in the long run.