Being assertive bothers me
October 11, 2013 1:49 PM Subscribe
Trying to practice being assertive, and it is backfiring. What do I do?
posted by raintree to society & culture (13 answers total) 13 users marked this as a favorite
Hi everyone. I've been trying to be more assertive. I'm a people pleaser by nature, but have been passive-(aggressive?) my whole life. I don't appreciate where it's taken me, and I know I need to make some changes. Recently, I told people on a forum much like this one, to avoid discussing personal details regarding the person teaching us. I mentioned this in a very neutral way - no names, just asking them to discuss these details elsewhere. I was the person who created the forum and created it only to discuss academic material. It kind of blew up, with people telling me to lighten up or take a joke. These kind of comments always bother me. As if common sense and etiquette makes you an anal person. And that illustrates my point perfectly. I have been spewing in every single direction wanting to say something to these "jerks" (quotation marks because that's my aggressiveness? talking). Say something incredibly mean and asshole-ish. Deleting them off the forum. I'm scared. I thought assertiveness meant the opposite of what is happening right now? It would have been so much better if I had never spoken up, and well, let them keep doing their thing.