How do I get over a co-worker I have a crush on?
October 6, 2013 8:47 PM Subscribe
I am a lesbian with a crush on a male co-worker. That, however, is only the beginning of my troubles. At first I was willing to just laugh off my crush to myself as something silly and unimportant (I mean, I understand human sexuality is weird and fluid, whatever), but recently my crush went out of town for a week and I found myself missing him a lot more than I thought I would, so much so to the point that I ended up texting him something innocuous and then crying when he didn't write back. I've decided that this is getting ridiculous and I need to get ahold of myself. So how do I get over someone I see almost every day? Fuller explanation inside.
posted by gypsyroseme to human relations (13 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
In August, a friend of mine got me a job at the restaurant where she worked at the time. I developed a crush on one of my fellow servers rather quickly afterward, despite the fact that he is male and I am a lesbian. I was not too put off my the fact that I developed a crush on him because I have been with men in the past, even if I didn't find it too pleasurable. It took me a long time to come out, and I thought I finally knew who I was, but I realize that human sexuality is fluid and it's not always good to pigeonhole one's self. Anyway.
This coworker and I became friends as well, occasionally hanging out outside of work, and have made plans to see a play together next month. I really enjoy his company and generally find him sexy and wouldn't mind fooling around with him if the opportunity presented itself, but I don't really ever see myself wanting to take things to the next level. Besides, I'm pretty sure he only sees me as a friend. So I was very surprised to find myself crying over him tonight at work after he didn't respond to my text and after I found myself longing for him way more than I thought I would. I mean, I'm sure he isn't missing me to this degree, if at all.
I've struggled with anxiety and depression in the past and have also struggled with becoming too attached to people too quickly, and I'm sure this is somehow related to all of those things. Unfortunately, I can't afford a therapist right now. So what I need are some ways I can put this thing into perspective, and maybe move on from the point where I am now-- anxious, thinking of him often, becoming depressed if he isn't around-- to the point where I can have a healthy friendship with this guy without all this baggage. Or no friendship at all, if that's better, and focus on work without being distracted by him.