Boycott my brother's wedding?
September 27, 2013 7:15 PM Subscribe
What’s my moral obligation here regarding my brother’s wedding? A doozy inside.
posted by anonymous to human relations (96 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
This is a long, sort of complicated family drama. I’ll do my best to simplify.
I have two sisters (Older Sister and Twin Sister), and a brother. Brother is getting married to his fiancée in November. The wedding invitation had some variation of “please, no children”. This was a surprise to all of us, as they did not discuss the details with any of us before sending out the invites. But whatever, I don’t have kids, so not a huge deal for me. However, My Older Sister has two children (5 and 3), and my Twin Sister is currently pregnant (due in October). My brother also has a baby, who will be around 9 months by the time the wedding comes along.
Brother’s son will be at the wedding, and he is allowing Twin Sister to bring her newborn. Older Sister spoke to Brother to clarify whether or not her kids were invited, and they aren’t. Not only would it be a logistical nightmare for Older Sister to go to the wedding without them (the wedding is in a town about 2-3 hours away from where Old Sister and Brother live), but she is hurt that her children aren’t invited to the wedding, even though Twin Sister and Brother will have their kids in attendance. She told Brother that if her kids aren’t invited, she won’t be able to attend the wedding.
Ultimately, Brother/fiancée have not backed down, so Older Sister won’t be attending.
Here’s my conundrum: In my view, Brother/fiancée are being selfish, self-centered, and short-sighted by not allowing Older Sister’s kids to come to the wedding. I think Older Sister is justified in not going to the wedding. I’m angry with Brother/fiancée for not backing down and wonder what my moral obligations are here. Should I stand with Older Sister, make a point to Brother and not attend their wedding? Or do I attend the wedding, despite my reservations about Brother’s behaviors?
For what it’s worth, I’m much closer to Older Sister and Twin Sister than I am to Brother, but of course still love and care about Brother. I’m leaning towards going to the wedding for that reason, but I wanted a gut-check from wiser Mefites.