A lady asked me to adopt a foster kitten. I did. Now, the lady is freaking out about the cat. She is also a co-worker. Boom goes the dynamite, and details within.
posted by IwishIwasFordMaddoxFord to pets & animals (33 answers total)
Friends, I need both advice as to how to handle the situation and a reality check.
Kitten background. Adorable fattening comedian around the six month mark. I have two other cats. Believe me, the number three was the reason why I said no at first, and then when this lady hit the wall in terms adopting the Little Guy (LG), I said yes. I have a ginger tabby (GT), middle-aged, who wants nothing to do with no other cats. But, she's peacefully co-existed with my elderly kitty (EK) for years, so I expected a rocky adjustment at first, then peace.
So, the first major event is discovering that the kitten is allergic to something. Fleas, the vet tells me, account for 80% of infestations, so I'm aware that it's likely that. But also of note is that the vet has examined all three cats on multiple times (the GT only once, the other two two plus visits).
If I don't catch LG licking at himself (when he's itchy; he isn't presently and hasn't been for two plus weeks) he can do some pretty alarming damage to his body by licking at a patch. So, in both periods of itchiness, I put a cone on his head, put antibiotic cream on the sore parts, and got him to the vet. I actually was sorta thinking aside from my stupidity below, I was handling it pretty well. I got him to the vet quickly, prevented him from hurting himself worse as soon as I caught sight of it (which would happen, like, within a most a few hours of it happening -- I'm around all the time).
Here is my stupid part. It is stupid. After my vet gave LG a hydrocort. shot for his period of itchiness, she said, here's some brands you can get at Rite Aid. So, I went to Rite Aid, saw they had one flea thing that was not the brand but was what the vet described (i.e., back of the neck, and not flea collars), saw that it was for cats, and put it on my other two. Followed the directions, of course.
This is still the stupid part, if you are wondering, but it was sort of assisted by this lady's assertion of certain things which turned out to not be true. For example, this lady said that I would know if I had fleas if they jumped from the cats to me. Didn't happen. Still haven't seen a flea. So I mentioned this to the lady (we have been in close touch, as until earlier in this week I considered her my friend, and somebody I trusted enough to edit my writing) and she suggested that the mere hydrocort administration alleviated the problem. So I was playing fast and loose with the time for the redosing, believing that I guess things were magically okay.
Poor Little Guy got itchy again. Went back to the vet. The lady came along, and formed an impression I found out this week that I was lying to the vet about what I had done/not done. I never had the intention to mislead the vet. I honestly don't know what the lady is talking about. At any rate, I went back to Rite Aide, paid better attention, and have more stuff ordered from online. So LG, if fleas are his problem, that will have been solved unless I have to yet unlock another crucial piece of flea knowledge -- I know the brand, and when and how to administer it. If it's not fleas, well, it will be expensive, which is concerning, but that bridge is at least two months in the distance. At any rate, the lady is now convinced it is fleas, so the fact that I am not rolling in dough doesn't seem to be what's going on here in terms of what happened next.
Anyway, this lady, at work (she's a tutor and I teach) pretty much freaked out at me without raising her voice. She would say, but you, notFordMaddoxFord, said one thing two months ago and then you take it back so which is the truth and I was basically like whoa. And then she said I have another friend who will take better care of the cat, and again I was like whoa. All I know after days of obsessing over this conversation is that she is a) Worried about LG b) Having problems sleeping because of it and c) All worries relate to the flea thing except maybe this weird Feliaway/payday problem that -- and it's sort of a long story involving a month of Feliaway lasting like two weeks because it comes out of the dispenser too fast, and I thought it would last longer (and when I had Feliaway, peace reigned unless the itchy LG acted out by too much chasing of the other cats). Feliaway will be here by Monday at the latest. And I am here just, most of the time, when there's too much chasing I separate the gang briefly.
ANYWAY I have issues related to a controlling, narcissistic mother, whose anxieties go from making her having a bias about things to having an alternate reality that makes her The One Who is Right. So, my friends, I ain't lying about crying for hours, not being able to make it inside before crying (which is an issue as I teach in the hood and I'm sure a few of my students saw me and were like ???). Now I am freaked to interact with this lady again -- thank Jebus I only see her once a week, and when I do she sits about fifteen feet away from a class that I teach. I mean, I guess I"ll shut my door so I won't be evaluating how wrong my words must sound in the ears of this lady (who has taught for many years and has Opinions about Many Things, including cat care).
So: TL, DR. If I am a cat abuser/neglector who does not finally have this flea shit figured out, please tell me. If it seems like yeah this lady was a giant asshole but she's a correct giant asshole, please tell me. I want to put the cat's welfare over my issues. Second, what are some by the book polite ways to deal with somebody at the workplace that you really do not want in your business?