How can I help my girlfriend with two dogs we just got after breakup?
September 18, 2013 12:52 PM Subscribe
I'm about to break up with my girlfriend of two years who I live with. We've had intermittent fights of me not being happy where it was going. The latest one happened just last week, the day before we picked up two dogs. She's going to keep the dogs (hard decision for me) if we break up, but what can I do to help? I feeling like I'm abandoning her with kids we just had.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (18 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
It just recently came out that for almost our entire two year relationship, she's been much more in love with me than I have her. I don't think she's the girl I've been looking for, and after two years of thinking that I will fall more in love (she's a great person), I haven't. It's been challenging for me .I've pulled the "why aren't we more compatible" card too many times) and challenging for her (she's had to deal with the person she's loves so much not reciptrocating her feelinfs, even though we get along well a lot of the time).
At 30 years of age, I still have a lot of emotion maturing to do (she pulled, with a great deal of pain, most of my problems with the relationship out of me during fights while I stumbled along trying to find the right words and my own feelings). Needless to say, she's going to be very upset, and I'm going to be very upset, and I feel terrible my lack of self-realization has and is going to hurt her so much.
We just picked the dogs up maybe 10 days ago. Both are good dogs but neither is trained. We cant' separate them as they were strays together and kennel mates together; she should keep them, even though I really want to, but I know the correct thing to do is let her have them. She even told me during one of our post-fight fights that she wouldn't have gotten two if she didn't think she could take care of them, even if she knows the situation is not ideal.
We just dropped $2k on both of them on a joint credit card. I plan on paying the entire amount off myself (it's my card) since I dragged her into this situation, and when we move out, I plan on asking her if I can take the dogs out while she is at work she I work days and she works nights. I pretty much want to do anything I can to help her, keeping in mind distance is going to be important in the healing process.
What else should I do? Dogs are expensive and time consuming and now she's going to have two. I suppose I should just ask her, but I wanted some advice so I can bring as much help to the table as possible.