Someone bumped into my car this morning
September 17, 2013 6:12 AM   Subscribe

Her car edged forward and bumped into mine while waiting on a red. What should I have done?

This morning I was headed to work and was waiting at a very long red light. I thought I felt my car shake slightly and looked behind me; the driver in the car was clearly rummaging around for something and kept doing so until the light changed green. And she seemed right up on my bumper.

It turns out that both of us work at the same company. I walked past her car and she was still rummaging/stalling. I didn't stop to talk to her, because I was getting upset.

I've got minor nicks and scratches on my bumper from daily use, but I don't see anything majorly or seemingly new. Should I have done anything? Should I leave her a note or file a report with my insurance?
posted by mlo to Law & Government (13 answers total)
 
If there's no damage, let it go. Yeah, she goofed; bummer, but it happens.
posted by ook at 6:14 AM on September 17, 2013 [11 favorites]


Typically, you get out, tap on her window and inform her that she hit you.

If it was nothing, you both go about your business.

If it was someting, you exchange information and file a police report. Take a few pictures with your phone. You can probably file a police report over the phone for this kind of thing.

All things considered, this isn't a BFD.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 6:15 AM on September 17, 2013 [4 favorites]


if you didn't even get a jolt of a bump I'd let it go. 9/10 that other driver was mortified and couldn't look at you... fundamentally not a great excuse for not acknowledging the incident but with a small jostle as you describe I'd really forget all about it.
posted by edgeways at 6:24 AM on September 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


Nothing. You are not a traffic cop.
posted by zippy at 6:25 AM on September 17, 2013


As someone else who might end up on the road with this person, my vote would be for "get out and let her know she hit you" (calmly and politely, of course). If she was still futzing around with her crap without even realizing she'd bumped into your car, it would be good to make her aware of that in the hopes that would be more careful in the future.
posted by DingoMutt at 6:29 AM on September 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


Nothing. This happened to me the other week and the poor woman got out of her car at a red light to apologize -- which I totally appreciated and which made me a little less angry about the whole thing -- but it was really unnecessary. There was no damage to my car, or to her car, or to either of our bodies. I actually don't feel all that good about the encounter because I was angry and let it show, and she was freaked out, and after it was all said and done, I just felt like a bully.

In contrast, my husband did this to someone recently, also causing no damage to the other car (and only a scratch to his bumper) and the woman he tapped insisted on calling the police, etc., and tied up traffic on a major highway for two hours...for literally no purpose. (Even the cops were like, why did you call us? There's no damage.)

It's OK to be upset about it, and she probably should have said something to you, but there's really nothing else you can or should do.
posted by devinemissk at 6:34 AM on September 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


When I was a very new driver, I did something very similar. I was idling behind someone when I eased off the brake for some reason and gave their back bumper a tap. In my case, the collosion was acknowledged and after some chat and seeing that I did no damage to their car, we went our separate ways. They had mercy on a novice driver.

Not exactly the same as your situation, but if no damage was done, I would just let it go. Since this just happened today, maybe she will seek you out to apologize. I imagine she is mortified.
posted by Tanizaki at 6:39 AM on September 17, 2013


Response by poster: Thanks everyone! I figured it was not a big deal but thought I'd reach out for another opinion.
posted by mlo at 6:44 AM on September 17, 2013


Should I leave her a note or file a report with my insurance?

The purpose of insurance is to repair damage. If you don't see any damage to be repaired, then there's nothing to call the insurance about. Even if there is a scratch, you would have to decide whether you're interested in paying the deductible to get it repainted or replaced. As it was her fault, there's not much worry about having a claim on your insurance which makes your rates go up, but still, there would be a lot of phone calls and a deductible to pay, and all you'd get out of it would be a coat of paint. Is that the outcome you want?

Should you write her a note? Again, it all comes down to what outcome you want. I would have a hard time writing a note "This is just to say that you hit my car and I think you should have said something," because I like having a more clear purpose, something that I'm asking her to do... basically there's no particular outcome that writing her a note would get, other than making you feel like you've "done something". That's important, actually; I can see how the situation as-is would seem like the world flung crap at you and you stood there and took it, and now you'd like to file a complaint and say that you won't be bullied. But before you write her a note, go spend some time on passiveaggressivenotes.com and consider whether there's any note you can write that wouldn't be worthy of ending up there.

If you work in the same building as this lady, maybe find out who she is, and stop by her cube, not to confront her (unless you want something ??), but to reassure her that there's no damage and she shouldn't worry (which she almost certainly is doing). If you feel that would be too awkward, and you don't want to do that, then consider, that's the exact same reason she didn't come up and talk to you at the time - so take a deep breath and let the whole situation fall behind you.
posted by aimedwander at 6:55 AM on September 17, 2013


Should I leave her a note or file a report with my insurance?

No, do not file a report with your insurance. There's no damage, and you want to save claims for situations where you really need them, since insurers keep track of the number of claims you make - or even the number of inquiries you make about *possibly* filing a claim - and use that information to decide your rates, and whether or not to renew your policy:

Insurance companies pay attention to customers who file a lot of claims. Every time you ask them to foot the tab, they take note. And at some point you become an unprofitable customer, driving them to raise your rates -- or cancel or refuse to renew your policy. A better approach to insurance is to think of your policy as being there to protect you from big losses, not for taking care of every little mishap that occurs...
posted by mediareport at 7:16 AM on September 17, 2013


The car bumper is designed to prevent or reduce physical damage to the front and rear ends of passenger motor vehicles in low-speed collisions (National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) ).

If this was a slow rolling bump and you see no damage to the bumper, I'm joining those who say this is no big deal. But if you see this person, just chat with her, as she might be freaking out about some future confrontation. You can both look at your bumper, and if it looks good to both of you, go about your merry ways.

If you think paint was scraped off of your bumper by this little bump, you can ask her to buy you some paint to touch up the spots. If she says no, shrug it off and go on with your life. As you noted, you already have a number of bumps and nicks on the bumper from daily use.
posted by filthy light thief at 7:25 AM on September 17, 2013


I nudged someone shortly after I got my license. We both got out, looked at the bumpers, had a good laugh, and bid each other a nice day. Didn't even mark the dust.

Seconding filthy light thief's advice to declare "no big deal":

The other day, I inadvertently cut someone off (he was in the wrong; it was a two-lane turn and I was in the outer lane, he was in the inner and had planned to go where I was going).

Initially I think we were both pretty offended, and as we were apparently following the same route, we ended up alongside each other. After a moment to cool off and think about it, I realized that being mad wasn't going to solve anything, so I just waved and mouthed "I'm sorry!", with kind of a bow/smile, and he did the same right back. Road anti-rage! As we shared the same stretch of pavement for another mile or two, it was nice to know nobody was out for blood.
posted by Myself at 7:42 AM on September 17, 2013 [3 favorites]


If I was having a huffy morning I would get out of the car to remind them that if I'd been a pedestrian and not another car, the damage could have been significant, but otherwise I would just let it go.

Definitely do not report this non-damage to your insurance company, there is absolutely no reason to do so.
posted by elizardbits at 7:56 AM on September 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


« Older Tablet Salvation   |   How do I open port 8080 on my Mac? Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.