What do I do about an overbearing person on a recreational sports team?
September 16, 2013 3:48 PM Subscribe
I feel like he doesn't respect my boundaries, but on the other hand he seems like a decent guy.
posted by winterportage to human relations (21 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
I played on a rec soccer league this summer. Half way through the summer, the self-appointed captain of the team asked me to sign up for the fall league and I said I was interested.
Throughout the summer he was a pretty good captain, except I noticed he had weird issues with the females on the team. One female team member was busy and a bit anti-social and he took it really personally that she didn't come out to the pub after the games and started ranting about her to the rest of us. He didn't say anything disrespectful or sexist, thankfully.
When the time came to sign up for the fall league, he sent out a bunch of emails asking me to confirm. I was having a really stressful week at work so it took me a few days to reply. By that time he had sent 3 emails, and since I didn't have time to worry about it at the time, I just clicked on the "confirm" button.
I decided I don't want to play on the fall team so I made up the excuse that I have to work, and I said I'd try to find another person to take my spot. But basically, he knows that I was lying about that but can't take a hint. So he wrote back stating that "I think you'll be good to play with us."
I feel bothered by this because this is supposed to be a recreational league and the whole point is that it's not competitive and in my mind I'm not supposed to feel pressured to do something I don't want to do. To be fair I was one of the least flaky people throughout the summer.
I think he just really likes soccer and wants to have a good team come together, but I really don't like his approach especially since I only met him 3 months ago. If it wasn't for his bossy controlling ways, I probably would want to play on the fall team.
What's the best way to deal in this situation? He's not a crazy jerk or something, just annoying and can't take a hint. I know he wants me on the team because he thinks I'm a good team player, but his approach to it is really off-putting.