Mixed signals -- office edition
September 16, 2013 3:36 PM Subscribe
My (married with child) female co-worker (please see this question
) is giving me mixed signals. Is there any chance of logical explanation?
posted by anonymous to human relations (22 answers total)
My friend and co-worker finally came back from maternity leave and we've resumed our friendship on somewhat more balanced level than before (no more hugging and cheek kissing, no more meeting outside work, no more clandestine feel in interactions). I restricted myself to occasional compliment and to standard bottle of alcoholic beverage as birthday present. We just talk for no more than 5 minutes every day.
My question is how should I interpret her behaviour:
- after I described her my marital problems she strongly advised divorce and now when divorce is in progress she is constantly asking about its progress and when it will be finalised (she asked more questions about it than my mother and sister);
- she shows jealousy of my wife; when I tried to patch thing with my wife for the last time she almost stopped talking to me and was rude in professional interactions, when I said to her that this attempt had failed she instantly became very nice;
- she literally hates my other female best and friend-co-worker (Said: "she's my enemy number one"), and often comments when I and she (my other co-worker) are working together on some project; also commented about my female summer interns;
- she constantly tries to cross intimacy boundaries: drinks my tea from my cup, eats my sandwich (which I had already bitten), takes my mobile phone and checks it out, berates me in front of other co-workers, rearrange items on my desk (it might be relevant that she is member of the secretarial pool and I'm one of the lawyers sharing this pool) -- I react to all this like if it isn't anything unusual;
- I would swear that she had started to takes more care in her clothes;
- last week she said: "It's a shame that you didn't came to work earlier because I was in the underwear trying different dresses girls were borrowing me. You could be there and admire me." (sorry about my poor translations skills);
- when we were discussing our height (also last week) she said "in these high heels I am taller than you, I could kiss you on your forehead".
On the other hand
- About a month ago she suddenly told me: "I like talking to you since you are making me laugh but I wouldn't bear you in marriage."
- Today I complimented her by saying that she looks pretty today. She thanked and said that she just looks as usual. I responded that perhaps I just like her just the way she is. She said: "that is not good, this way [after divorce] you will be unable to find someone for you". After that we just talked as usual.
This behaviour seems contradictory. What does she mean by it? [I don't intend to have affair with her; I just want to understand situation].